Face Down || Chapter nine Epilogue

[Jessica♥]

Ok, so I've been thinking about this story for a while, and decided to type it out. The begining of the chapter is a bit mature, no Swearing or graphic stuff...but, I just thought I would put that there, a warning I guess.

Chapter One

Growing up in Wyckoff, New Jersey was an amazing thing, there were great people there, great places to hang out, I loved everything about it. I had the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for, the Jonas family, who lived two blocks from me growing up. My life was picture perfect, my older brother Shawn, was the best, he was always there for me, even when he was in university or working, he was always a phone call, or an e-mail away. My mom was wonderful, she loved my brother and I unconditionally.

But, no ones life is ever as perfect as people make it out to be, everyone thought that my life was the best, people told me they were jealous that I had the life I was living. I would just smile and be on my way, while inside I would think, they wouldn't want my life if they knew what happened behind closed doors.

My dad was a respectful business man, by day at least. By night, he was anything but respectful. The first memory of my life was peeking around the corner into the living room, hearing my mother's pain-filled cries, watching as she was hit, punched, kicked repeatedly by my dad. I was four. I saw the blood coming from her nose and mouth, so I went over to try and help her somehow. I kept telling him to stop hurting her. But, he pushed me away hard, making my back slam against the wall. I don't know if Shawn ever knew what was happening at that point, if he did, he never told me.

Every night after that, I would try to sleep while I knew he was doing that to her, but every night my dreams were filled with the images of him beating her, and her looking at me with hopeless eyes. I never told anyone, and no one ever suspected anything, because the next morning, my mom would always have makeup on covering up the bruises and cuts that would have been left on her face, and they would smile and laugh and pretend that we were the perfect family once again. But in the morning when she would put on the makeup, sometimes I would hear her through the door, saying that it wasn't going to happen again.

When I was ten, he turned on me. I didn't even do anything; he just flipped out on me, hitting me until I fell to the ground. I told Shawn about that after the fifth time. He always made sure he was there when I would get home from school, and never let me leave his sight anytime during the day, until we would have to separated to go to bed, he would always try and stay in my room, to make sure nothing happened, but my dad always made sure he never did.

The year I turned thirteen, my brother started university, and it got worse. On the day of that birthday, after my friends and family had gone home and I was in my room, ready to go to bed, he came in, drunk as usual. He told me it was time I grew up, and he was going to help me. That was the first time he raped me, and it definitely wasn't the last.

When I was fifteen, everything changed, first he beat my mom, and then he turned on me, beating, and then raping me. After he was done, he went to bed, and my mom decided enough was enough. She made me pack a suitcase of my clothes and whatever else I wanted to take with me, and she packed one too. She gave a quick phone call to Shawn who was still going to the University of Arizona, and told him what was going on. She grabbed the passports, money, credit cards, everything, and we walked the two blocks to the Jonas house.


"What happened?" Denise asked, opening the door to us at one in the morning.

"Can we come in, we'll discuss it in there," my mom said, Denise nodded, and my mom pushed me in there, she looked behind her, before coming into the house, closing and locking it behind her.

"I'm going to get Paul, then I'll get the boys up," she said, making her way to the stairs.

"No! Don't get the boys up, it's one in the morning," my mom told her.

"Alice, it's the summer, they can stay up. This seems to be more important than them sleeping, they can keep Cara company, while you, Paul and I talk," she said, without waiting for my mom to say anything, she jogged up the stairs, wearing the pajamas I had bought her that Christmas.

Mom put down her suitcase, so I put mine down too, she started wringing her hands together, I could see the worry, nervousness, and fear in her eyes. We waited in the foyer until we heard the thunderous footsteps coming down the stairs.

"What's going on?" Paul asked my mom urgently, looking over the both of us.

"Paul, let them clean up before we start talking about this, Alice, come to the kitchen with me and Paul. Boys take Cara up to the bathroom, then play videogames down in the living room or something," Denise said, then began leading my mom to the kitchen, with Paul following close behind.

I dared a glance at the boys; all four of them were down there. I couldn't even meet their eyes, I was too ashamed about what was going on, I simply walked by them and headed up to the bathroom.

I finally saw my face in the mirror, I had a huge bruise on my left eye, there was dry blood caked around my nose and mouth. My eyes were no longer the vibrant hazel, with the sparkle of gold they were so many years ago, they were so dull and unhappy. My blonde hair fell limp on my shoulders. I took one of the facecloths from the shelf and ran warm water over it, before I brought it up to wash away the blood.

"What happened?" Joe asked from the doorway.

"I...I don't want to talk about it," I told him weakly.

I wiped the rest of the blood away, before throwing the cloth in the dirty clothes hamper, turning the water off, I brushed past them again, and went back down their living room. I could hear my mom telling them what happened, and what's been happening.

I took a seat on one of the couches and stared at the black T.V.

"Cara, you know you can tell us," Joe said, taking a seat beside me.

I saw a few lone balloons still in the room, from the joint birthday party Joe and I had the week before, we were both born on August 15th, and we both turned fifteen that year. Kevin was sixteen, Nick was eleven, and Frankie was only three.

"You'll hear about it, just not from me, Ok? I can't tell you guys," I said, then Frankie started to cry.

"Are you gonna be Ok?" he asked.

I tried, and failed to give him a reassuring smile, "I will be, Frankie."

Just then, Denise, Paul and my mom walked into the room, "Ok, I'm going to put Frankie to bed, Joe and Kevin, you both are going to sleep on the couches down here, so Alice and Cara can take your room," Denise told them.

"No, Denise, let the boys keep their beds, Cara and I can sleep on the couches," my mom told her.

"Why doesn't Cara take my bed in mine and Frankie's room, then Joe, Kevin and I will sleep in there, so we'll be together," Nick threw out there.

"Is that Ok with everyone?" Paul asked, we nodded, "Ok, we're going to put Frankie back in bed, boys wait down here for your mother and I. Alice, you and Cara can go to bed."

My mom and I took our suitcases from where they were and made our way to the stairs, I cast a look the boy’s way, before following my mom up.

"What's gonna happen?" I asked my mom, while she was in Joe and Kevin's room.

"We're going to stay here for the night, tomorrow morning; your dad will go to work. Denise, Paul and I are going to go out and take care of some things, and before Jared would get home from his nightly trip to the bar, we're going to be gone," she told me.

"Gone where?" I asked shakily.

"London," was all she said.

"We're going to leave the country?" I asked.

"We're going to start new. Change our last names when we get there, change everything," she said.

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, before simply nodding and walking across the hall to Nick and Frankie’s room. He was already asleep, so I climbed up to Nick's top bunk, and laid down; trying to process what had just been told to me. We were leaving...and I didn't think we were going to come back. I knew we had to, but I didn't want to, Wyckoff was home, even if I was living the life I was. I wanted to leave that, but not the Jonas family, I felt safe when I was with them, just like I did when I was with Shawn. I heard the door open, and I knew the boys had come back in, and I was sure that their parents had told them the whole story. They came and stood beside the bed, Joe and Kevin being the only ones that could see me, Nick was still rather short compared to his brothers.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Kevin whispered.

"How could I ever tell you guys that?" I whispered.

"Just by telling us, you know we would have done something," Nick said.

"I don't know, Ok? I was ashamed, I was scared, nervous, terrified," I said, staring up at the ceiling.

We were silent for a few moments, "We're leaving, did they tell you that?" I asked.

"Yeah, they did," Kevin said.

"Why can't you just stay with us?" Joe asked.

"Because he'll look here for us, he won't notice we're gone until tomorrow night, when he wonders where his punching bags are," I said.

"Go to sleep, Ok? You've been through too much today," Kevin said, moving a few strands of hair from my face.

I nodded, and they moved away from the bed, I heard them lie on the ground and try to get situated to sleep.

"G'night," I said to them.

"G'night, we love you, Cara," Joe said.

"Love you guys too," I sad, then turned over, and tried to have a goodnight's sleep.

[chandy]

whoa, intense!
I love Cara's relationship with the boys! It's so... real. I love this so far, jessica!
I feel so bad for Cara! I would hate leaving those boys, too!
Post more when you can! I'm really excited for this!

[ginger]

Face down is an awesome song!
"Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's gonna end."

It's amazing! So when i saw the title of the fic, I read it thinking of that song!

I'm anxious to know what's to come, and what will happen.

[Jessica♥]

Chapter two

"Get out! Get out!" I screamed, as I saw him advancing to me.

"Listen to me, you little bitch, you don't just leave. I am your father, you have to stay with me," he told me in a deadly whisper.

"N-no mom is going to take me away from you, so you can't hurt us," I yelled as I began crying.

"You'll never be safe, I'll always find you," he said, pulling out a sharp looking butcher knife.

I began crying harder as he got closer to where I was.

"Cara! Cara!" someone yelled.

My eyes shot open and I was breathing hard, I saw Kevin's worried and frightened face looking at me, with his hand on my shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled moving quickly out of his grasp.

Kevin pulled his hand back, "I'm not going to hurt you, Car," he told me.

I was still crying, but noticed that Joe, and Nick were standing behind him.

I buried my face in Nick's blue pillow and screamed and cried. The boys just stood rubbing my back trying to comfort me.

After a few minutes, I brought my head back up and looked at them, and wiped my eyes on the back of my hoodie, "I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"Don’t be sorry, Car. It's Ok," Joe told me.

"Did I wake Frankie up?" I asked, looking around the room for signs of the curly headed boy.

"No, he's down playing some video games," Nick answered.

I nodded and got down from the bunk, "I'm going to shower...I didn't get a chance after...you know," I said looking at my still clad converse feet.

"Yeah, yeah, of course. Well, towels are in the closet, take as much time as you need," Kevin said.

"Where's my mom?" I asked.

"She and our parents are already gone, taking care of some stuff for tonight," Nick said, staring at his own feet.

I nodded and gave a sad sigh, "Well...yeah, I'll see you guy in a bit," I said, and went to my suitcase to get clean clothes, before grabbing a towel from the hall closet, and going for my shower.


After I was done and dressed, I wiped the steam from the mirror and looked at myself again, I still had the black eye, and my lip was cracked, I had some little bruises all over my face. Even after my thirty minute shower, I still felt dirty and disgusting. I sighed at my reflection and went back into Nick's room to put my other clothes in another part of my bag, and hung the towel with his on the back of his computer chair, I looked at the digital clock and saw that it was almost noon. I made my way back downstairs, to spend my last day in Wyckoff with my favorite people.

Much to my own surprise, when I reached the living room, my mom, Denise and Paul were with the boys.

"Hello, sweetie," mom greeted me.

"Hi," I said, taking a seat beside Nick on the couch.

"So, here's what's going on. I took out all the money of my own personal account, and half of what was in the joint account. I already have the tickets, I've filed a police report, given statements, everything. I've also signed divorce papers, when he is arrested, I'm sure he'll sign them, we're leaving to the airport at three, and the plane leaves at five," she said, staring at me.

"We're really doing this?" I asked, as Nick took my hand in his and squeezed.

"You know it's for the best, honey," she told me.

"Why can't we start new here? Why can't we just change our names, or whatever, we don't have to go," I said, as I began to cry again.

"We can't take that chance, we can't stay here, I'm sorry" she said.

I started crying, Nick pulled me in for a hug, Joe and Kevin came over and wrapped their arms around me too, the Frankie came over, got on Nick's back and put his arms around the top of my head, showing his love for me, and sadness in my sudden move. But, in a way, it wasn't all that sudden; it was building up since he started beating my mom. She had to take a stand sooner or later; it just involved leaving my second family.


My mom took me back home to grab some more stuff, books, makeup, jewelry, more clothes, personal special things, like the plastic ring you get from those coin machines, Joe gave it to me when we were eight, it was his birthday gift for me. Or the little bouncy ball that Kevin hit me with accidentally the first day we met in the park, the ticket stub from one of Nick's Broadway plays, and the Baby Bottle Pop that we got when Frankie was born, I never opened it, and all the photos, I didn't even look at which ones, I just grabbed them and stuck them in a carry on bag.

All the Jonas' were with us when we went to the airport, the almost hour drive was basically silent, what was there to say? When we got to the Kennedy airport, and went through security, and everything, we stayed together, waiting for our flight to be called. And when it was, it was terrible.

"Flight 16A New York to London, now boarding," we heard.

Frankie started crying again, and latched himself around my knees.

"It's Ok, buddy, everything's going to be fine," I said, patting his curly head.

"But, you're leaving," he said, looking up to me with big, sad
eyes.

"I know, but be strong; can you do that for me?" I asked.
He nodded and moved away.

"Take care of yourself," Denise said hugging me.

"I will," I said returning the hug.

"If you ever need anything, you call us," Paul said, after his wife moved from me.

"I'll keep it in mind," I told him.

He nodded and hugged me, "We'll pray for you, every night."

I smiled as we pulled apart, "Thank-you."

"I love you, Cara," was all Nick said, before pulling me into a hug.

"I love you too, Nicky. I love you too," I told him, holding him at arms length.

Joe didn't hesitate in hugging me, "I don't want you to go, you're my twin," he whispered in my ear.

"You're my twin too, Joe. And I don't want to leave, but I have to," I whispered back.

He pulled back, quickly wiping his eyes, "I know you do, I love you," he said.

"I love you too, Joey," I said, as he went to hug my mom.

"Stay safe, Car," Kevin said, before hugging me.

"You too, Kev, especially on those roads," I said trying to lighten the mood.

"Home isn't going to be home without you," he said pulling away and looking at me.

"Where ever we go now, it isn't going to be home," I told him.

"I love you, Cara, always remember that," he told me.

"I love you too, Kevin," I said, fighting back tears.

"I want you to have this," he said, and took off his guitar pick necklace.

"Kevin, that's like, your favorite thing, besides your guitars," I said looking up at him.

"But you're my favorite person," he said, moving behind me to clasp the necklace.

I smiled and looked down at it, it was black with a white lightening blot on it.

"Thank-you," I told him.

"Don't forget," he said, before going over to hug my mom.

"Well, I guess we should be going, don't want to miss it," my mom said.

I nodded and followed her to the terminal, "Stay in touch!" Joe shouted.

I turned, smiled, and gave a little wave before following my mom onto the plane, getting ready to start our new life.

---------

That was three and a half years ago back in August 2004; I think that we stayed in touch for about a month. We would e-mail each other every single day, but then we had school, and the time difference, we just couldn't keep up, that, and it was too hard to talk to them, they were something in the past, and my past included my dad, who was arrested and sent to jail and he did sign those divorce paper. I deleted that e-mail account and got a new one for my new friends, and never told the boys what it was.

When we first got the London, it was really weird, we didn't exactly have a set plan on what we were going to do, so we stayed in a hotel and my mom got a job waitressing. I got enrolled in school and that's the way it was for the first six months. My mom had made me go to counseling, I still had nightmares about it, nightmares about him coming into my room and crawling into my bed. Him beating me and my mom, the physical scars had healed within a little while, but the emotional scars, I thought they never would. We changed our last name, so I was no longer Cara Ricci, I was Cara Wilson.

One day at the restaurant my mom was working at, a guy came in, Andy, he was a photographer and was doing a photo shoot up the road and went in there to eat. My mom was serving him. According to her, it was love at first sight. When I first met him, I didn't like him, well; I didn't like any guy after what my dad did. But, after a while he did earn my trust, I saw how happy my mom was, and that made me happy. Two months later, he asked us to move in with him. He even passed Shawn's test, well, it really wasn't a test, per say, Shawn just sat and observed during one of his visits, Andy thought Shawn hated him. When we were dropping him off at the airport he told mom that he liked him, loud enough so that Andy heard which pretty much made his day. When the divorce was finalized about four months after that, he asked her to marry him, and she said yes! Shawn was there for the wedding as best man and I was maid of honor. Then, the three of us, my mom, Shawn and I, took on Andy's last name so then I was Cara Whitney. I was really, really happy. Shawn and I even started calling him dad. We really had a great life in London, we lived in a great house, Andy was supporting us, Shawn was still doing some schooling over in the States, but he would always come for Christmas and the summertime. But then in February 2008, everything had to change.

"Cara! Could you come down here, please?" Andy called.

I moved from the computer in my room, and went down to where they were in the kitchen.

"What’s up, dad?" I asked taking a seat, and fiddled with the necklace Kevin had given me. Even though we did stop talking, I never forgot about them, I still loved them.

"No need to beat around the bush, I've gotten a job promotion," he told me.

"Dad, that's awesome!" I said, happily.

"It is, pay raise and everything, I'll be the head photographer of this new magazine, MusicFile. It’s just...we'll have to leave London," he said slowly.

"Leave London?" I asked.

"The job is in Los Angeles," he told me gently.

"California, as in America, as in half way around the world?" I asked.

"I'm so sorry, it's just...it's a dream job, you know?" he asked.

I knew this was something that he always wanted, he talked about it enough, "Congrats, dad. It’ll...it'll be good living there, I think," I said.

"Do you mean it?" he asked, perking up.

I smiled at him, "Absolutely, when do we leave?"


A week, one friggin week later, and I was walking through the LAX airport arrivals area with mom and dad.

"I didn't think you meant this fast," I told him, as I grabbed my two large suitcases.

"I was trying to figure out how to tell you," he replied.

"Whatever, it's fine," I said as we started walking towards the exit.

"That's us," dad said, pointing to a limo driver holding a sign with our last name on it.

"They went all out on this didn't they?" I asked, as he took my luggage and put it in the trunk.

Dad just laughed, "A bit I suppose," he said, with his British accent sounding very out of place since we were back in America.

"Well, let's get going," mom said from her place beside the open limo door.

Dad let mom and I go in first then him, I sat against the cold leather seats and stared out the window, looking at where I was now calling home.

California, here I am.

[chandy]

I'll admit it - I got pretty choked up when they were saying goodbye. If I was saying goodbye to them for the last time... well, let's just say I wouldn't be very cooperative.
love the update! Post more soon!

[ginger]

I have an idea of what will happen now she's back in the states. but I still want to read it and see if I was right.

Man....she's going to freak when she finds out how close she lives to her old buddies!
Jessica....I ADORE this fic.

[Michelle]

Ahhh, Yay!! Tis a lovely fic!! lol
Yay!! She's going back to the United States now!
And then..I think she'll run into them again and then...
you tell me what happens!! lol

[Courtney26]

GAH. i just re-read this for the...i don't know...3rd time, waiting for a new chapter. please update!!!!! they finally get to Cali...now what? update soon! love it so far!

[Jessica♥]

Chapter three

We had been living in Los Angeles for a month, and dad had not gone to do any photo shoots yet, the magazine was brand new, so they had to wait and get like, a really awesome band to grace the first ever cover of MusicFile.

"Wakey wakey," my dad said, shaking me awake.

"Sleepy sleepy," I mumbled back.

He laughed before throwing the covers off of me, which caused me to jump back and hold the pillow in front of me.

He must have seen the look on my face because his face instantly softened, "Oh no, sweetie, I'm sorry...I don't know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have done that."

I let out a shaky breath before lowering the pillow, "I know, I just..." I said trailing off, and looked out of my window opposite of my bed.

"I understand, it's not something that you can just forget," he said, hesitantly placing a hand on my shoulder. I tensed but relaxed after a few seconds.

"So, why did you need me up at-" I looked at the digital clock on my nightstand, -"what? Six in the morning! No, going back to bed."

He smiled down at me, "No, we have a band coming in today, and I knew you would want to come in and watch, since this is what you want to do."

That was very true, ever since I first saw him do a photo shoot back in London, I realized that was what I wanted to do, it just seemed so awesome. So he told me that when they got a band for the cover, he would take me with him for the shoot.

"Alright, give me like, an hour," I said, getting out of bed and walking over to my walk in closet.

"Meet you downstairs," he said before leaving.

I grabbed my towel and clothes and went to the bathroom to get changed.

When I was done I dried and straightened my hair, which was shorter then it once was, about two inches from my shoulders, I put on my skinny jeans, Nightmare before Christmas Jack thermal shirt and high top converse. I went over to my jewelry box and opened it, revealing my many necklaces, I looked at the black guitar pick with white lightening bolt that was in there, the very same one that Kevin had given to me, I took it and put it on. Then did a little makeup, just the regular eye liner and lip gloss. Then went down to meet him.

"Look at that, we have exactly four minutes to spare," he said when I reached the kitchen.

"Does what mean we have enough time for Starbucks?" I asked him.

He gave me a serious look, "We always have time for Starbucks."
I smiled and he started walking towards the door, and grabbing all his photography equipment then running a hand through his short brown hair muttering to himself, making sure he had everything.

I grabbed my bag from beside the door and we left, walking into the already hot sun, and it was only seven in the morning. We got to his Cadillac and got in, I put on my aviators to try and shield my eyes from the sun.


When we were done at Starbuck, and finally made it to the downtown L.A huge MusicFile magazine building, I was ready and really excited.

"And here's our photographer!" a man who looked to be the same age as dad, 42, exclaimed when he saw us, "and guest."

"This is my step-daughter, Cara. Sweetie, this is Todd Everett, he's the editor-in-chief for the magazine," dad told me, introducing us.

"It’s nice to meet you," I said, moving my sunglasses to the top of my head.

"Nice to meet you too. Now, the band should be here soon, but why don't you take a look at the backdrop, lighting, make sure everything is good for you," Todd told my dad.

My dad nodded and handed all of his equipment to his assistant, Jake, to set up, and we went over to the plain white backdrop. My dad took a few minute to look around and stand in front of it looking around.

"Looks good," he said distractedly.

Jake came over with the tripod and handed my dad his camera.

"Car, go and stand over there, I want to make sure everything's working, and the lightening will be alright," he told me.

I went over and stood and did some stupid poses while my dad snapped a few pictures. Then he went over to where the laptop was set up to look at the pictures.

"Ok, everything looks good," he said happily, "Now we just have to wait for the band, and we'll be good."

"They're in the other room, hair, make up and wardrobe," Todd told us.

"Who is the band anyways?" I asked, after I set my now empty cup on one of the tables.

"The Jonas Brothers," he said excitedly.

I froze right there. Jonas. No, it couldn't be, Jonas was a common name, and those boys weren't famous musicians.

"And here they come! Come on in boys, meet your photographer!" Todd said.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before turning to look at them.

It was them.

"Crap," I said under my breath.

"Boys, this is Andy Whitney, he's the photographer for the magazine," Todd said, "Andy this is Kevin, Joe, Nick, their father, Paul their mother Denise and the youngest Jonas, Frankie."

It was them alright, Kevin's hair was its natural curl, Joe's hair was long and kinda wavy, Nick had his signature curls, Paul looked the same short brown hair, Denise looked the same too, with her beautiful brown curls, and Frankie...looked as cute as ever, with his light brown semi curls.

"Nice to met you boys, this is-" I grabbed Jake who was walking by me and held him in front of me, "-my step daughter, Cara...she was just here."

"Cara, what are you doing?" Jake whispered, as I made him move away from the boys.

"Hiding," I whispered back.

"From what?" he asked.

Before I could answer, my dad pulled me away, and dragged me over to them. I didn't want to see them, not that I was trying to be mean, or rude, but...I hadn't seen them in over three years, I was the one who stopped talking and deleted my account. They were my past, and that was something I was moving on from, starting my new future...and I didn't want the boys there.

"This is Cara," my dad said proudly, as I kept my eyes down on my feet, like they were the most interesting thing in the world, "Cara, don't be rude."

This was the plan, I didn't know the boys, I wasn't Cara Ricci, I was Cara Whitney, "Nice to meet you," I said quietly.

"Well, we should be getting started, time is money," Todd said. Todd, you are my new best friend.

Before I could try and get away from them, Joe had to start talking, "You look familiar, are you from here?"

"I just moved here about a month ago," I told them.

"Where did you live before that?" Kevin asked, eyeing the necklace.

I let out a frustrated sigh and shoved the guitar pick into my shirt, "London."

"You don't have an accent," Nick pointed out.

"I was born in the states," I said shortly.

"Where?" Kevin asked.

"What's with all the questions, Sherlock?" I asked. Shit. Kevin's childhood nickname.

I turned and started walking away from them, but one of them grabbed my wrist, "It is you," Joe said spinning me around and looking right in my eyes.

I looked down at his hand clamped around my wrist, "Let. Me. Go," I told him.

"Cara, come on it's just us," Nick said coming up beside Joe.

"I don't care, let me go," I said, pulling my hand away from him.

'Why did you stop talking to us?" Kevin asked.

I didn't answer him.

"Cara Lucy Ricci, what is wrong with you?" Joe asked.

"I'm not Cara Ricci, alright? I'm Cara Whitney," I told all of them.

My dad was staring at me, confusion written on his face, Todd was looking between the boys and I like he was watching a tennis match.

I felt tears start to form in my eyes as I backed away from them, "Cara?" I heard Frankie ask.

I stopped and looked down at him, "Yeah?" I asked.
"Do you remember me?" he asked.

I sniffled and wiped my eyes, "Of course I remember you, do you remember me?" I asked him, crouching down to meet his big brown eyes.

He smiled and nodded, vigorously, "You used to help them baby-sit me," he said matter of factly.

I smiled a bit and nodded, "That's right."

His smile faded, "Why did you stop talking to us?" he asked me, with tears in his own eyes, "Do you not like us anymore?"

"It's not that Frankie, I still love you guys. It's just..." I said letting my sentence hang as I looked up at the others, who seemed to understand.

"We missed you," Denise said, moving over to me.

I stood up straight, "I missed you guys too, it's just...I don't want to live in the past, you know?"

"But, we're part of the good stuff in your past, Car. We never hurt you," Nick said.

"I know, Nicholas, but my real dad is included in my past, and when I would think about you guys, he would pop up there, so I had to stop thinking about it," I said.

"You never forgot though," Kevin said walking over to me, lightly taking the chain from around my neck, and lifting the guitar pick out from under my shirt.

"Obviously," I said swatting his hand away.

"We can be part of your future though," Joe said, taking a step forward.

I looked down as a few tears rolled down my cheeks, "I don't know if that's a good idea," I whispered.

"Oh come on, Cara! You can't push us away from you," Kevin exclaimed, I shut my eyes tight and braced myself.

"Kevin, relax man, see what you did?" Joe said, and I heard him hit Kevin.

"Cara...I didn't mean to yell, but....see it from our point of view. How do you think we all felt when we didn't hear from you anymore? You have no idea how worried and scared we were. We tried so hard to find out what happened to you and your mom. And today...it's like God wanted us to see each other again," he said taking my shoulders.

I opened my eyes and met his, I saw sincerity. I collapsed in his arms and cried he held me tight telling me everything was alright, and that he was sorry.

After a couple minutes I composed myself and pulled away from his warm embrace, and saw that his shirt was wet from my crying, "Sorry," I said indicating his shirt.

He smiled a little, "Don't worry about it."

I took a step back and looked at everyone, "For right now though...I think it's better if you guys do your photo shoot and whatever. And I'm gonna go. I'm sorry about everything, but I need to move on," I sighed.

"Cara, don't do that," Nick said, running a hand through his curls.

"I'm sorry, and I love you guys, but I just can't do it," with that, I turned and walked out the door and to the elevator, pulling out my cell phone, and calling for a cab.

New Jersey was across the country, and that's where I wanted my past to stay.

[chandy]

Oh, no, Cara, don't do that!!!!!!!
Loved the update, even if Cara is so not thinking clearly.
I mean... they are Jonas's.
SERIOUSLY?
loved it! Post more soon!