Post by racheldaninja on May 4, 2009 16:39:49 GMT -5
I stared at my computer screen in complete shock. How can he be online right now? I asked myself over and over.
joeyman22 is Online!
I took a deep breath and tried to forget everything he had said to me. He was the one I loved, the one guy I thought was right for me. Even if I'd never met him before, I felt a connection between us when we talked. He was the one guy I could share everything with, tell my deepest secrets to and wouldn't have to worry about getting made fun of. I truly loved him, but he said some things that I would never forget as long as I lived.
[glow=red,2,300]Flashback[/glow]
joeyman22: hey rach! whats up?
rachieboo: joseph, hey! not much, you?
joeyman22: im okay, i just have some stuff i gotta talk about.
rachieboo: start talking, im here to help.
joeyman22: theres a girl i really like, but ive never met her and i really really like her.
rachieboo: oh, okay. so what do you need help with?
joeyman22: i wanna ask her if we can start thinking about meeting and getting serious.
rachieboo: really? can i ask who it is?
joeyman22: its someone you know
rachieboo: that helps a lot. name please?
joeyman22: her name is leslie
rachieboo: whoa, really? i thought you didnt like her.
joeyman22: what made you think that? whod you think i was talking about all those times ive asked you for advice?
It hit me then. He wasn't hinting to me, he was hinting to my best friend Leslie. If I had my webcam set up, like I normally would, he would've seen how I felt and things would've been the exact opposite of how they are now.
rachieboo: idk, someone else i guess. *sigh*
joeyman22: whats up with the sigh?
rachieboo: nothing, just some stuff im going thru out here.
joeyman22: that doesnt sound good. whats going on out there?
rachieboo: nothing you need to know about, ill handle it.
joeyman22: are you sure?
rachieboo: positive.
joeyman22: then what should i say to leslie?
rachieboo: do you know where she lives?
joeyman22: yeah, i think. its not that far from where i live
rachieboo: really? thats good
joeyman22: it is, but how do i ask? id randomly say hey lets meet up and go on a date!
rachieboo: lol no, dont say that. try and find a way to get her to say that it would be a good idea.
joeyman22: thatll work! oh man, i gotta go. ill talk to you later. lovessssss
rachieboo: okay, ill talk to you later joey, lovessssss
joeyman22 has signed out.
***
I remember that day like it happened a few minutes ago instead of a month. He hadn't come on after he told me that my plan had worked and he and Leslie were going out, a few days after. I cried for days on end.
The window I was hoping I would never see again showed a few seconds later, and my lungs stopped dead.
joeyman22: hey rachel! sorry i havent been on.
I couldn't bring myself to answer right away. The things I felt were too much for my hands to even move, much less type. I took deep breaths and stared at the screen in shock.
joeyman22: you there? if youre mad at me because i havent been on, im really sorry.
I took another deep breath and moved my hands onto the keys. I tried to type but it ended up being something uncomprehensable. I tried again, slowly calming down.
rachieboo: yeah, im here. why would i be mad at you?
joeyman22: idk, i thought you were.
rachieboo: im not
But I'm dying inside, I thought.
joeyman22: thats good. so how have you been?
rachieboo: ive been okay. you know, the usual ups and downs
joeyman22: same with me. did you work everything out?
rachieboo: yeah, mostly.
Not at all. You're my only problem, I thought.
joeyman22: great!
rachieboo: mhm. so hows leslie?
joeyman22: shes doing great! we celebrated our one month anniversary a few days ago.
rachieboo: good for you! so is that why you havent been on?
joeyman22: i just havent had time. im finally getting out of the house.
rachieboo: wow really? where are you gonna go?
joeyman22: im getting an apartment in downtown san diego, and leslie might move in with me. im not sure yet.
rachieboo: shes gonna move in? thats a big leap, isnt it?
Anything but that, please. I already can't live without you.
joeyman22: yeah, but i think its a good idea. we already spend a lot of time together.
rachieboo: as long as you dont think youre going too fast.
joeyman22: rach, dont think ill forget about you. youre my best friend.
rachieboo: thats not what im thinking entirely. im worried that itll end badly if you guys take it too fast.
joeyman22: we arent gonna end up on divorce court, i can promise you that.
rachieboo: haha but thats not what i meant. it might interfere with everything
joeyman22: oh, i get it now. no it wont.
rachieboo: yes it will. ive seen it happen before.
And I don't want it to ever happen again. I've already lost a guy from that.
joeyman22: oh.
rachieboo: its harsh. i dont want it to happen to me again.
joeyman22: did you lose someone?
rachieboo: i havent talked to anyone from that group of 'best friends' in a year or two.
joeyman22: oh.
rachieboo: can we talk about something else? this is making me sad.
joeyman22: i would love to, but i gotta go. ill talk to you tomorrow hopefully.
rachieboo: yeah, i guess. ilysm
joeyman22: ilysm2
rachieboo: dont forget it. nothing will come between us.
joeyman22: you know it. bye
rachieboo: bye
joeyman22 has signed out.
I kept my hands on the keys, frozen in place. I looked at what he told me: ilysm2. I love you so much too. Ha, I doubt it, I thought. He loves Leslie and doesn't care about me. Tears fell down my cheeks and I shut off my computer, staying off it for a month.
***
I turned on my ancient computer for the first time in a month. It roared to life, buzzing loudly. I wasn't used to the sound anymore, and it got annoying quickly. I signed in and looked at my friends list. Pshh, I should change that. He's not gonna be a friend much longer, I thought. I have to tell him.
joeyman22: rachel wassup? lol
rachieboo: hey joe.
joeyman22: you okay?
rachieboo: i have something to tell you.
joeyman22: shoot. im all ears.
rachieboo: you know i love you, right?
joeyman22: of course, and i love you too.
rachieboo: heres the thing. i dont just love you as a friend.
joeyman22: oh.
rachieboo: i did at first, but after we started talking i felt a bigger connection, and it grew from there.
joeyman22: wow. this is.....wow.
rachieboo: i understand if you dont wanna talk to me again. i just had to say it.
joeyman22: no! dont go anywhere.
rachieboo: why? i know you dont feel the same about me.
joeyman22: how do you know that? maybe i do.
rachieboo: i doubt it. you have leslie. i did have leslie. i did have a boyfriend, but he cheated on me with my best friend.
joeyman22: i wasnt your boyfriend.
rachieboo: no, i dont mean you. my ex, he was a jerk.
joeyman22: oh
rachieboo: i should go. i didnt wanna fight.
joeyman22: were not fighting.
rachieboo: were fighting more than we ever have
joeyman22: true.
rachieboo: exactly. i just wanted you to know how i felt.
joeyman22: and now i know, but you dont have to go
rachieboo: if i keep talking ill mess everything up. maybe ill see you sometime in the future. i might go to san diego, you never know.
joeyman22: rachel please, i dont want to stop being friends. it wont change anything, i promise.
Yes it does. You know how I feel, but you're still with Leslie, I thought. I waited to see what he said.
joeyman22: leslie isnt important right now. what matters is that im your friend. please talk to me
joeyman22: i promise, it wont change anything. PLEASE talk to me
joeyman22: i love you too, its just that.......
joeyman22: leslie is......
joeyman22: ive known her longer, and its just that i dont think of you in the same way.
joeyman22: that wasnt the right thing to say. would you please say something? i need to know you havent died.
rachieboo: ilysm and dont forget. i will see you in the future.
rachieboo has signed out.
joeyman22 is Online!
I took a deep breath and tried to forget everything he had said to me. He was the one I loved, the one guy I thought was right for me. Even if I'd never met him before, I felt a connection between us when we talked. He was the one guy I could share everything with, tell my deepest secrets to and wouldn't have to worry about getting made fun of. I truly loved him, but he said some things that I would never forget as long as I lived.
[glow=red,2,300]Flashback[/glow]
joeyman22: hey rach! whats up?
rachieboo: joseph, hey! not much, you?
joeyman22: im okay, i just have some stuff i gotta talk about.
rachieboo: start talking, im here to help.
joeyman22: theres a girl i really like, but ive never met her and i really really like her.
rachieboo: oh, okay. so what do you need help with?
joeyman22: i wanna ask her if we can start thinking about meeting and getting serious.
rachieboo: really? can i ask who it is?
joeyman22: its someone you know
rachieboo: that helps a lot. name please?
joeyman22: her name is leslie
rachieboo: whoa, really? i thought you didnt like her.
joeyman22: what made you think that? whod you think i was talking about all those times ive asked you for advice?
It hit me then. He wasn't hinting to me, he was hinting to my best friend Leslie. If I had my webcam set up, like I normally would, he would've seen how I felt and things would've been the exact opposite of how they are now.
rachieboo: idk, someone else i guess. *sigh*
joeyman22: whats up with the sigh?
rachieboo: nothing, just some stuff im going thru out here.
joeyman22: that doesnt sound good. whats going on out there?
rachieboo: nothing you need to know about, ill handle it.
joeyman22: are you sure?
rachieboo: positive.
joeyman22: then what should i say to leslie?
rachieboo: do you know where she lives?
joeyman22: yeah, i think. its not that far from where i live
rachieboo: really? thats good
joeyman22: it is, but how do i ask? id randomly say hey lets meet up and go on a date!
rachieboo: lol no, dont say that. try and find a way to get her to say that it would be a good idea.
joeyman22: thatll work! oh man, i gotta go. ill talk to you later. lovessssss
rachieboo: okay, ill talk to you later joey, lovessssss
joeyman22 has signed out.
***
I remember that day like it happened a few minutes ago instead of a month. He hadn't come on after he told me that my plan had worked and he and Leslie were going out, a few days after. I cried for days on end.
The window I was hoping I would never see again showed a few seconds later, and my lungs stopped dead.
joeyman22: hey rachel! sorry i havent been on.
I couldn't bring myself to answer right away. The things I felt were too much for my hands to even move, much less type. I took deep breaths and stared at the screen in shock.
joeyman22: you there? if youre mad at me because i havent been on, im really sorry.
I took another deep breath and moved my hands onto the keys. I tried to type but it ended up being something uncomprehensable. I tried again, slowly calming down.
rachieboo: yeah, im here. why would i be mad at you?
joeyman22: idk, i thought you were.
rachieboo: im not
But I'm dying inside, I thought.
joeyman22: thats good. so how have you been?
rachieboo: ive been okay. you know, the usual ups and downs
joeyman22: same with me. did you work everything out?
rachieboo: yeah, mostly.
Not at all. You're my only problem, I thought.
joeyman22: great!
rachieboo: mhm. so hows leslie?
joeyman22: shes doing great! we celebrated our one month anniversary a few days ago.
rachieboo: good for you! so is that why you havent been on?
joeyman22: i just havent had time. im finally getting out of the house.
rachieboo: wow really? where are you gonna go?
joeyman22: im getting an apartment in downtown san diego, and leslie might move in with me. im not sure yet.
rachieboo: shes gonna move in? thats a big leap, isnt it?
Anything but that, please. I already can't live without you.
joeyman22: yeah, but i think its a good idea. we already spend a lot of time together.
rachieboo: as long as you dont think youre going too fast.
joeyman22: rach, dont think ill forget about you. youre my best friend.
rachieboo: thats not what im thinking entirely. im worried that itll end badly if you guys take it too fast.
joeyman22: we arent gonna end up on divorce court, i can promise you that.
rachieboo: haha but thats not what i meant. it might interfere with everything
joeyman22: oh, i get it now. no it wont.
rachieboo: yes it will. ive seen it happen before.
And I don't want it to ever happen again. I've already lost a guy from that.
joeyman22: oh.
rachieboo: its harsh. i dont want it to happen to me again.
joeyman22: did you lose someone?
rachieboo: i havent talked to anyone from that group of 'best friends' in a year or two.
joeyman22: oh.
rachieboo: can we talk about something else? this is making me sad.
joeyman22: i would love to, but i gotta go. ill talk to you tomorrow hopefully.
rachieboo: yeah, i guess. ilysm
joeyman22: ilysm2
rachieboo: dont forget it. nothing will come between us.
joeyman22: you know it. bye
rachieboo: bye
joeyman22 has signed out.
I kept my hands on the keys, frozen in place. I looked at what he told me: ilysm2. I love you so much too. Ha, I doubt it, I thought. He loves Leslie and doesn't care about me. Tears fell down my cheeks and I shut off my computer, staying off it for a month.
***
I turned on my ancient computer for the first time in a month. It roared to life, buzzing loudly. I wasn't used to the sound anymore, and it got annoying quickly. I signed in and looked at my friends list. Pshh, I should change that. He's not gonna be a friend much longer, I thought. I have to tell him.
joeyman22: rachel wassup? lol
rachieboo: hey joe.
joeyman22: you okay?
rachieboo: i have something to tell you.
joeyman22: shoot. im all ears.
rachieboo: you know i love you, right?
joeyman22: of course, and i love you too.
rachieboo: heres the thing. i dont just love you as a friend.
joeyman22: oh.
rachieboo: i did at first, but after we started talking i felt a bigger connection, and it grew from there.
joeyman22: wow. this is.....wow.
rachieboo: i understand if you dont wanna talk to me again. i just had to say it.
joeyman22: no! dont go anywhere.
rachieboo: why? i know you dont feel the same about me.
joeyman22: how do you know that? maybe i do.
rachieboo: i doubt it. you have leslie. i did have leslie. i did have a boyfriend, but he cheated on me with my best friend.
joeyman22: i wasnt your boyfriend.
rachieboo: no, i dont mean you. my ex, he was a jerk.
joeyman22: oh
rachieboo: i should go. i didnt wanna fight.
joeyman22: were not fighting.
rachieboo: were fighting more than we ever have
joeyman22: true.
rachieboo: exactly. i just wanted you to know how i felt.
joeyman22: and now i know, but you dont have to go
rachieboo: if i keep talking ill mess everything up. maybe ill see you sometime in the future. i might go to san diego, you never know.
joeyman22: rachel please, i dont want to stop being friends. it wont change anything, i promise.
Yes it does. You know how I feel, but you're still with Leslie, I thought. I waited to see what he said.
joeyman22: leslie isnt important right now. what matters is that im your friend. please talk to me
joeyman22: i promise, it wont change anything. PLEASE talk to me
joeyman22: i love you too, its just that.......
joeyman22: leslie is......
joeyman22: ive known her longer, and its just that i dont think of you in the same way.
joeyman22: that wasnt the right thing to say. would you please say something? i need to know you havent died.
rachieboo: ilysm and dont forget. i will see you in the future.
rachieboo has signed out.