Hey Little Brother

[Anna]

PREVIEW!
i figured since jessica had a brilliant idea with this, id try it. maybe itll encourage force me to finish these fanfics. i tend to just keep starting new ones

“Um…Kevin?” I looked up; Joe was standing nervously in the doorway, slowly putting his cell phone in his pocket. “Could you give me a ride somewhere?” He asked cautiously. I chuckled.
“Sure man, in a minute, ok?” He smiled, looking relieved. I shook my head slightly. It wasn’t like my brother at all to hesitate to ask for something he wanted, usually he just blurted out whatever came to mind without thinking twice. That is, unless it’s something he knows he’s not supposed to do. “Where do you need to go?” I asked, suddenly suspicious. Joe shrugged.
“Just…Starbucks.” It didn’t sound like ‘just Starbucks’, but I went along with it; having a feeling I’d regret it later.
X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X
“So…are you going to tell us or not?” All traces of the silly, carefree boy I had been talking to moments before were gone, replaced with an impatient and serious one. I exhaled.
“Yea, I am. I owe you that much.” I took a small sip of my drink and began telling my life story.
X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X.X.x.X
“How could you just keep this away from us?” I shouted, breathing heavily in fury. My mom shook her head, her eyes wet and glassy, threatening to overflow with tears at any moment. My dad opened his mouth, clearly about to lecture me for using ‘the tone’ with them, but I didn’t stick around to hear it. Instead I grabbed my jacket and car keys and stormed outside into the late night darkness, slamming the front door behind me and driving off, only one destination in mind.

[Anna]

“Um…Kevin?” I looked up; Joe was standing nervously in the doorway, slowly putting his cell phone in his pocket. “Could you give me a ride somewhere?” He asked cautiously. I chuckled.
“Sure man, in a minute, ok?” He smiled, looking relieved. I shook my head slightly. It wasn’t like my brother at all to hesitate to ask for something he wanted, usually he just blurted out whatever came to mind without thinking twice. That is, unless it’s something he knows he’s not supposed to do. “Where do you need to go?” I asked, suddenly suspicious. Joe shrugged.
“Just…Starbucks.” It didn’t sound like ‘just Starbucks’, but I went along with it; having a feeling I’d regret it later. My brother still looked worried as he followed me out of the bedroom. He stopped in front of the room next-door and stuck his head in the door. “Nick, we’re going to Starbucks. You’re coming.” He said.
“I don’t want to.”
“You’re coming!” Joe repeated. I raised an eyebrow and Joe shrugged. “I just want him to come, ok?” he snapped. I stifled a laugh.
“Alright, relax!” Joe didn’t respond, just walked ahead of Nick and I. He was already waiting in the car by the time we got downstairs. Nick reluctantly slid into the back seat and I started the engine.
“No, not this way!” Joe said suddenly as I got nearer to the local coffee shop. “I…I want to go to the Starbucks by the mall.”
“Joe, there’s one right here, what’s the difference?” I glanced sideways and saw him look down sheepishly. He really wasn’t acting like himself. I pulled into a parking spot and sighed, turning to face my brother. “Joseph, what’s going on?” I asked quietly. He didn’t move, but after a few moments his eyes lit up and he looked at me and nodded, a slight grin on his face.
“I’m meeting a girl there. She said she would be at the Starbucks at the mall.” He said, much more confident now. I thought about this.
“So…you insisted your little brother tag along because…since he has so much experience he would be able to help you out when you don’t know what to say to her?” I laughed.
“Hey!” Nick protested. “I have a girlfriend you know!” I was about to contradict and tell him that just because the girl he has a crush on said in an interview that she thought he was cute, it didn’t mean she was his girlfriend, but Joe spoke first.
“That’s right! And since I was going to the mall anyways, I figured we could all help him get something for his girlfriend. Valentine’s Day is coming up, you know.”
“It’s November.” I replied. Joe rolled his eyes.
"Her birthday is coming up!" Nick piped up.
“There you go! Can we just go please?” He asked, glancing at the clock. I sighed and started the car again, pulling out of the parking lot and turning to go to the mall, which I couldn’t help but constantly remember was much farther than the Starbucks I had originally taken Joe to.
“I pay for my own gas, you know.” I muttered. Joe ignored the remark. The rest of the ride was silent except for the sound of the radio, the station never the same for more than a few seconds and Nick in the back complaining to Joe to pick a channel and leave it. Finally we arrived and found a parking spot in the huge lot.
“I’ll take Nick, call me when you’re ready to leave and we’ll meet somewhere.” I said as we walked through the doors and into the mall.
“No!” Joe said instantly. Nick and I looked at him in confusion. “Um…that’s ok, you can come. I know how much to love Starbucks.” I crossed my arms across my chest.
“Joe, go on your date. Have fun. I’m your brother, not your mom; I’m not going to make you have a chaperone.” I snickered. Joe closed his eyes and tilted his head towards the ceiling, gritting his teeth as he let out a big breath.
“Just come, alright?” He demanded, positioning himself behind Nick and I and pushing us forward with all his strength.
“I think we can manage walking on our own.” Nick mumbled after he continued the action for a few minutes. Joe let go of us, but stayed behind to make sure we didn’t turn around. When we got to Starbucks, I stopped, putting my hand out in front of Nicholas when he kept walking.
“Alright Joe, where is she?” I asked, impatient to leave. He scanned the tables and bit his lip, pointing to the far corner. A girl sat alone at a table, sipping an ice coffee. “Oh no Joe, no.” I murmured, shaking my head. He grabbed my arm as I tried to turn away, dragging me towards the table. He was meeting a girl here, alright, but it most definitely wasn’t a date.

I spotted them right away. Kevin seemed to be regretting that he came, and Joe persistently shoved him my way. Nick only stared at the sign behind the cashiers, contemplating what he wanted. Joe looked at me desperately and I sighed and got up, taking my cell off the table and slinging my purse over my shoulder.
“Hey guys.” I said, walking up behind them. Joe smiled.
“Hey Rachel!” He replied.
“Rachel? Since when did we know her well enough to know her name?” Kevin asked angrily.
“I didn’t bring any money, you know. I say Joe pays for us since he forced us here.” Nick said, joining our little group.
“I’ll pay for you.” I piped up. Kevin glared at me and took a wallet out of his back pocket. He fished out a 5 dollar bill and held it out in front of Nick.
“We have money.” He said coldly. I shrugged. “Joseph, order your drink and let’s go.” He ordered, still keeping his glare locked on me. Joe stepped between us and looked up at Kevin.
“No! You agreed to come here, Kevin. We’re staying.”
“That was before I knew this was the girl you were meeting!” Kevin exclaimed He put his hands on his younger brother’s shoulders and lowered his voice. “Look, we don’t know who she is, ok? She’s nice to you. I get it. But how do you know she’s not some psycho stalker or something?” I raised an eyebrow, not quite sure which was more amusing: the fact that Kevin thought I was a pedophile or that the boys thought I couldn’t hear everything they said, despite the fact that I was literally inches behind them.
“She isn’t! Can’t you see? She’s not the random stranger you always think of her as, she looks exactly like you and mom! Clearly she’s family. I thought we were raised so that family came first, and that when a relative needed help, we went out of our way to do whatever we could for them!” Joe argued, barely louder than a whisper. I smiled as I watched. Kevin sighed and looked around.
“We’re blocking the entrance.” He said quietly, gently pushing Joe forward. They followed me back to my table, Nick coming back moments later with his drink and pulling up a chair to join us.
“Hi!” He said friendlily. I smiled.
“Hey, Nick. What's up?” He shrugged, and then his eyes lit up.
“You have diabetes?” He asked, pointing to my purse. I glanced down and realized my testing kit was sticking out.
“Oh, yea I do.” I replied. Kevin scoffed.
“You did that on purpose.”
“What?”
“You’re just trying to get on his good side. Nicholas was just diagnosed. Of course, I’m sure you already knew that.” I frowned and shook my head.
“No, I didn’t. Sorry Nicholas, it really sucks, doesn’t it?” He let out a sigh and nodded. I smiled. “Don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine.” I sat back in my chair and really looked the boys over for the first time. Every other encounter I’d had with them I had been rushed and paranoid. I gave a small smile at the first similar quality in all three boys.
“Nice rings.” I complimented. Joe looked down at his hand.
“They’re called purity rings.” He informed. I nodded.
“I know. I…used to have one.” I saw Kevin raise an eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak. I nodded quickly, confirming the question before he even asked.
“Seriously? Awesome!” Joe smiled, clearly not putting two and two together like his older brother had.
“Yea, I’m really glad you have them. I’m glad your parents gave them to you after…well, it’s just good you got them.” I stammered quietly. Nick nodded.
“I just got mine a little while ago.” He said matter-of-factly. “When I…” I cut him off, finishing his sentence.
“When you turned 13. I know. Me too.” I decided to change the subject. “So guys, how’s the music thing coming along? I saw your video on TV, it was pretty cool.” Nick beamed.
“You liked the song?” I nodded.
“How did it go?” I tried to remember. “S Club 7 and all those boy bands…” I sang. Nick laughed, nodding. I laughed too. Suddenly Joe straightened and looked at me, his eyes sharp and intimidating.
“You said on the phone that if I brought Kevin and Nick here, you’d tell us who you were and all that.” He reminded me. I remembered. “So…are you going to tell us or not?” All traces of the silly, carefree boy I had been talking to moments before were gone, replaced with an impatient and serious one. I exhaled.
“Yea, I am. I owe you that much.” I took a small sip of my drink and began telling my life story.

[blatentlyobvious]

AHH!!!!
Oh my gosh!!! I love love love.
If I could favorite things, this would be at the top of the list.
I am speachless, seriously, I love itttttttt

" ( “Nice rings.” I complimented. Joe looked down at his hand.
“They’re called purity rings.” He informed. I nodded.
“I know. I…used to have one.” I saw Kevin raise an eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak. I nodded quickly, confirming the question before he even asked.
“Seriously? Awesome!” Joe smiled, clearly not putting two and two together like his older brother had.
“Yea, I’m really glad you have them. I’m glad your parents gave them to you after…well, it’s just good you got them.” I stammered quietly. Nick nodded. ) "

^--- What I think it is; what you were talking about on Used? If so, so sad.

Ahhhhhhh.
=)))))

[Anna]

This was it. For years, ever since I had first seen this girl, I had been curious. Who was she? Where did she come from? How did she seem to know us so well? After seeing my parents’ reactions to her, I tried to keep my brothers and I as far away from the situation as possible, tried not to get them involved, but somehow deep down I knew that she had been a big part of my past. I still occasionally remembered that scene from my 3rd birthday, the one with the young teenage girl watching TV. It had to be her, there was no other explanation. But that was my only memory of the woman now sitting in front of me; there were no pictures or stories to otherwise prove that she ever existed. Now, a couple years after I first met her, I’d find out the truth.
“So,” Rachel started, staring directly at me rather than at all three of us. “I’ll start with the most obvious. I’m your sister.” She paused, waiting for a reaction. I only nodded. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nick open his mouth to speak, but Joe elbowed him in the ribs and he slouched back down in his seat, remaining silent. I had to admit, it was pretty far out there, coming to the mall one day and having some girl claim to be your long lost sister. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew it was true. And I think I had always known, somehow. “The last time I was really with you guys, Kevin had just turned three, Joe, you were barely a year old, and Nick, of course, wasn’t born yet. We were living in Arizona, I was almost 14.” She paused again. I could tell this was getting hard for her to tell. I smiled.
“I remember. I remember you being at my third birthday party.” I said, forcing myself to remain calm.
“I remember that too. I actually still have a picture from that day, you eating your little cupcake, frosting all over your mouth.” She chuckled. “That was…” She continued, her face becoming serious again. “That was the day before I left.” She said quietly.
“Why did you leave?” I asked softly, the conversation more between me and her now than all four of us. She looked at me.
“We used to be such good friends, me and you.” She said, shaking her head with a small grin on her face, completely ignoring my question. “I was kind of…an outcast all through school.” I nodded, I knew the feeling. “I mean, the other kids liked me, but the guys only liked me because I was pretty, and the girls only because of you and Joe. I was the only kid in our class with a baby in the family, and they all gushed over you guys. No one liked me for me, or at least it seemed that way, and I just hated them all.” She shook her head. “There was a big age difference between us, a little over nine years, but I loved you. I loved playing with you, because you didn’t care what I looked like, or who I hung out with, or what I did. I was your big sister; you just automatically thought I was great no matter what I did.” She smiled, but I noticed her eyes starting to water. I quietly pushed a napkin towards her and she took it without a word. I couldn’t believe I didn’t remember any of this, any of what she was talking about. That I used to play with this girl, that I used to look up to this girl. That she was my sister. “And then…it just all changed. There was a party. Everyone in my grade was going, there were even going to be high school kids there. And when you’re in middle school, a high school party was a big deal. Anyone who was anyone would be going. It took everything I had, but I finally convinced mom and dad to let me go. After voluntarily doing extra chores, helping take care of Joe a lot more, getting all my homework done as soon as I came home from school, and, of course, promising them that there would be adult supervision at all times at the party.” Rachel broke her eye contact with me, shifting her gaze to the table and shaking her head slowly. “There was no adult supervision. The kid’s parents were out of town, they were completely clueless about the whole thing. I had known that, of course.” A tear dropped onto the table, and my brothers-our brothers-and I sat silently, patiently waiting for the rest of her story. “There were no adults.” She repeated in a whisper. “There was alcohol. There were reputations, stupid reputations to think of, and…there were teenage guys.” She looked up again, still only at me and not Joseph or Nicholas. I nodded slowly, understanding. “You don’t need details,” She took a brief glance at the others, mostly Nick, before fixing her stare back on me and continuing, “there’s a simple explanation. Date rape.” She concluded, her voice faltering. She clearly still found it difficult to talk about, even the very little she had said about it. I took a slow, deep breath.
“You mean…you…” Nick said, his eyes widening. I cut him off with a fierce glare and a single short, sharp, and subtle nod. Rachel swallowed, hard.
“I…I couldn’t live with myself afterwards, knowing that I had broken so many promises that night, thrown away so much trust and respect. I hated myself; I couldn’t even think about facing mom and dad, couldn’t bear to imagine what they’d say.” She paused to wipe her eyes before summing up the rest of her story, so simple, but so hard to comprehend. “So I left.”

With a trembling hand, I reached for my coffee and took a refreshing sip, just what I needed. Kevin was looking at me with sad, confused eyes.
“Where?” He asked quietly. I shook my head.
“That’s a story for another time.” I replied. “I told Joseph I would explain who I was and what I did. I’ve done that much, and now you guys better be getting home before it gets late.” I finished quickly, taking a compact mirror out of my purse and briefly glancing into it, making sure my makeup hadn’t run after crying so much.
“But wait,” Nick said, speaking for the first time since I started. “I don’t get it; you said you were 13, right?” I nodded. “So you already had your ring.” I nodded again. “Then why?” He asked, dumbfounded, and as if having a ring on your finger put a magical force around you that stopped things like this from happening. Kevin cleared his throat uncomfortably.
“Alcohol can take away whatever right judgment you have.” I said quietly.
“But you were 13! That’s illegal!” He protested. I looked at him; he was so small and innocent. I envied his naivety.
“It wasn’t her fault. It was the guy’s.” Kevin mumbled with anger in his eyes. Nick turned to look at him and shook his head.
“She could have left, she could have gotten herself out of it.”
“Nicholas-”
“No, Kevin.” I said suddenly, cutting him off. “He’s right, I’m glad you want to believe I’m some kind of great, perfect person, but I’m not, and Nick is absolutely right.” I looked at him. “Nicholas, you have a good head on your shoulders. You’re a good boy, and you’re going to be an even better man. All three of you. But really, you need to leave. Dinners still at six, right? And if you're late, you have dish duty?” I asked, glancing at the clock on my phone. The three of them stared at me.
“Um…yea.” Joe said. I chuckled.
“You didn’t believe me, did you, Joseph? I really am your sister, I wouldn’t make that up. I know how the family works.” I laughed. Joe shook his head.
“N-no, I believed you.” He stammered.
“It’s ok, relax. I would be surprised if I were you too; it is kind of like a freak situation.” I stood, gathering my things. “Go. I don’t want you driving home in the dark.”
“I’m fine driving in the dark.” Kevin shrugged. He obviously wanted me to continue my story.
“Fine, I’ll change that. I don’t want to drive home in the dark.” I said simply and walked away. I walked out of the mall and to my car as quickly as possible, only remembering when I got in that I forgot to tell them something important. I cursed under my breath, realizing that it could ruin my entire plan. Quickly I took out my cell phone, wishing I had gotten their numbers before leaving. I scrolled through my received calls until I found a number I didn’t recognize. It had to be Joe.
“Hello?” I let out a sigh of relief.
“Joe, hi. Put Kevin on.” I asked.
“Rachel?”
“Yea just let me talk to Kevin.” There was silence on the other line.
“He’s not here.”
“What do you mean he’s not there? What’d he do, go home without you?” I asked, sarcasm dripping off my words.
“No, after you left he just got up and walked away. He left his keys though, so he’s still here somewhere. He just left me and Nick here in Starbucks though.”
“Didn’t you go after him?” I sighed. Poor kid, I knew he had taken the news of who I was way too calmly.
“Well…” Joe started, and I could tell I was about to get a novel of an answer.
“You know what, forget it. I just wanted to say don’t tell mom and dad about this, not yet, alright?” I felt my throat closing again and I hung up immediately. I thought of my past, of my family. I didn’t remember much of the night of the party, only what people told me had happened after it was over, and how I felt the next day. The next week, the next year even. I couldn’t stand it, I couldn’t handle being in that town, passing the house where the party was nearly every day, seeing all the people who had attended. Seeing him. My dad had noticed my unusual behavior and drilled me with questions with every chance he got. My mom insisted it was just puberty and tried to get him to stop, and knowing that she was completely wrong no matter how much I wanted her to be right made me feel worse. I just couldn’t stay anymore. So whenever I got the privacy to do so, I packed all my things into a single suitcase and a backpack, and hid the luggage in my closet. I waited a few days, Kevin’s birthday had been coming up and he was so excited about it, I had promised him and our mother that I’d make the cupcakes, and that he could help me. I stayed for the party, planning to leave as soon as I could after. I tried to stay as secluded as possible, spending most of the night watching TV. When our relatives left, I helped my parents clean up without a single complaint and offered to put Joseph to sleep. I ended up in the nursery for nearly an hour, just sitting in the rocking chair and holding the sleeping baby in my arms. When I finally went back downstairs, I did the same with Kevin, watching cartoons with him and holding him in my lap until he fell asleep. I went up to my room at my usual bedtime and locked my door, turning the light off to make it look like I was asleep. And I prayed. I prayed that I would be safe and that everything would work out, that I’d still have a good life. I prayed for forgiveness. I heard my parents go into their room and I waited for another hour or so to make sure they were asleep. Then, as quietly as I could, I opened my window and slid my suitcase out onto the roof. I lowered it as close to the ground as I could before dropping it, wincing at the soft thud it made when it hit the grass. The second floor wasn’t that high, and even with the weight of the backpack on my shoulders I was able to safely climb to the ground. Without looking back, I walked through the dark, empty town. I made my way to the bus station. It was a long walk, and it took a while for me to get there. I would go to North Carolina, my grandparents were there. I had plenty of money; I had been saving it all from birthdays, Christmases, and other events throughout my life. Plus I had been baby-sitting around the neighborhood, so I wasn’t worried about not being able to get to my destination or getting enough food. It took a lot of persuading at the bus station, the employee didn’t want to have anything to do with putting a 13 year old girl on a bus to New Mexico by herself at three in the morning. Finally I convinced him to give me a ticket for the next departing bus, and I slept the entire way. I left my cell phone off, knowing there’d be plenty of missed calls when I turned it on again. I had an old, wrinkled map of the United States in my backpack, and I planned my route. The best I came up with was just going from state to state until I got to the east coast, and that’s exactly what I did. Finally, days later, I arrived in North Carolina, and took another week to find my grandparents’ town and home. When I showed up on their front porch, I probably looked horrible. It had been a couple of weeks since I’d showered, I had stopped in public bathrooms anywhere I could and tried to clean up a little, but my hair was dull and stringy. I had eaten every day, but not as much as I probably should have, and I was gaunt and exhausted. My step-grandpa had answered the door, and he was shocked to see me. At first he looked over my shoulder, for the rest of my family, and when he found only me his expression turned almost to anger. He told me that my parents had called, and that they were worried sick looking for me. I got the old ‘what were you thinking’ lecture, and coming from him it was scary. The man my grandma had married was huge, twice as tall as I was, and he had a deep, booming voice. I begged him not to tell my parents I was there, and he agreed to wait until my grandma came home to do anything. I showered and ate, going up the guest room after to take a nice, much needed nap. I stayed in the room when my grandma came home, and got lectured again when she came up to see me. This time though, it was followed by hugs and tears. She told me I could stay with them as long as I needed to, and although she nodded when I asked her to keep my parents out of it, I know she called them immediately. I still don’t know what she told them, but it worked, I stayed in North Carolina, finished up middle school and high school, and sent myself to college in New Jersey immediately after. And that’s where I was today. I ended up in a college dorm watching the Early Show one lonely Saturday morning, as three familiar boys sang and played their music, bringing back old memories of Arizona to my mind. Now they were much more popular, touring the country opening for big name bands. It hurt me, to see them like this, living their seemingly perfect lives. They were a family, a family of six. Two parents and four brothers. And no sister.

[blatentlyobvious]

That was incredible.
Blew my mind.
Really.
You wrote about the rape soooooo much better than I did.
Props girl.
Cannot wait for more!

[Anna]

thank you so much!
haha honestly, i had this planned from the start, but i never really thought about specifically how i was going to write it. so then i read used, and honestly this is what was running through my mind:
"oh whoa, that sounds familiar. hmm. ok, we got the same idea. no big deal. but wow, nat did so great with it, this is going to be so hard now, i have to live up to her"
lol and you had all the dirty little details. i could never do that, id just be like "oh god, what am i writing? does this even make sense?"
hence little nicholas being dragged along so i could just be like "ok, younger kids, just say what happened, dont elaborate, we dont want to corrupt his little ears" haha

[blatentlyobvious]

Aw. Thanks Anna. Thats really sweet.
Yeah, I got really uncomfortable writing it like... worse things actually happen to girls.
It's hard to get something like that right, and I always feel like I shouldn't have put the details in.. you know? I just feel terrible knowing the reality. That's my guilt complex for you though. What you said about Nick not needing details makes a lot of sense. Great job. I can't wait for more!

[Anna]

My brothers were just where I had left them, sitting alone at the table in the far back corner of the mall’s small Starbucks and talking amongst themselves while sipping casually at their clearly recently refilled drinks. I quickly wiped my eyes on my sleeve and ran my fingers through my hair. I approached them and without offering a single word of explanation, swiped my keys off the table.
“Let’s go. Don’t want to be late for dinner.” I said grimly. I glanced at the cup in Nick’s hands. “That’s more than enough sugar for you. When was the last time you tested?”
“I’m fine.” Nick insisted, apparently unable to resist rolling his eyes at me. The way he looked at me I knew he understood I had mainly mentioned it to get the focus off of Rachel, and of me running off, and he deliberately contradicted. “I bet Rachel wouldn’t be bugging me about it. She gets it. She’d tell you to stop being so overprotective.” He murmured, looking up at me cautiously, testing me. I scowled.
“Rachel isn’t here.” I said coldly. “And it doesn’t matter what she’d say. I’m telling you that you’ve had enough coffee.” I said instinctively, in my mind noting that it was unusual for us to argue so intently on such a petty disagreement.
“It doesn’t matter? She’s your sister.”
“She’s your sister too; she’d be just as concerned and tell you that that’s enough!” Nick looked at me with cold, sharp eyes.
“She isn’t my sister.” He hissed before fiercely pushing his chair away from the table and storming out of our view. I looked questioningly at Joe, who had remained still and silent throughout the dispute. He shrugged, bowing his head to look away from me. He quietly stood and turned towards the door, still not looking at me. “We’re already really late.” He mumbled before shuffling after Nick. I stared at the empty table beside me in confusion for a moment before following. I found my brothers leaning against my car, arms folded across their chests and feet crossed at the ankles, watching me as if they’d been waiting for a long time. I unlocked the doors and we all took our seats, buckling our seatbelts without a word. As I drove home the car was silent, this time not even the sound of Joe fumbling with the radio stations or Nick’s complaining of the inconsistency to make the ride less tedious. By the time we reached our house, it was dark and raining, but none of us made a point of hurrying inside, instead trudging up to the porch in single file, my brothers walking ahead of me towards the door, illuminated by the hall light just inside. Our parents were waiting right inside, they must have heard the car pull up and the doors slam. Our mom’s arms were crossed across her chest, her gaze inquisitively intense. Our dad was leaning against the wall, looking at us each with a look that was clearly asking for an explanation. I shifted my eyes toward my younger brothers, planning on trying to get the message across to them that I’d cover for them, I’d take the blame. I never got the chance to, however, when Joe jerked his chin towards the stairs. I glanced up and saw our youngest brother, Frankie, sitting at the top of the steps, in his pajamas, staring at us curiously. I heard the quiet breath Nick sucked in beside me. We all knew it, if we were so late that Frankie was ready for bed, we were dead.
“Mom, dad, I’m really sorry. We got caught up at the mall. I got caught up at the mall. Joseph and Nicholas were ready to go, but I held them back, I made us late. It wasn’t their fault. I’m sorry.” I sighed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nick elbow Joe.
“No, it’s my fault; I made them go all the way to the mall because…I was meeting a girl there.” Joe piped up, his voice getting quieter toward the end of his sentence. “I lost track of the time and we just kept talking, then it started to rain so I got Kevin to drive her home. You know; the gentleman thing to do?” He lied and shrugged with a slight grin on his face.
“Joseph…” I started.
“I don’t care whose fault it was!” Our father interrupted suddenly, straightening up off the wall. “You’re all late, so you’re all being held responsible, no matter what the situation was. This is the first warning, as always punishment comes if it happens again. And it won’t happen again, understood?” He asked sternly. He might as well just have said it as a statement rather than a question, because he wasn’t leaving us much choice.
“Yes.” The three of us said together.
“We all ate, leftovers are in the fridge, and dishes are in the sink. Kevin, wash; Nicholas, dry; Joseph, you put them away.” Our mom instructed, her stare softening, just a bit. We nodded and our parents turned away, our dad leaving the room and our mom facing the stairs, ordering Frankie back to bed. The rest of us shuffled into the kitchen. I sat at the table and stared at the surface in front of me, in a daze as Nick slid a clean plate in front of me and Joe pulled various Tupperware containers filled with food from the refrigerator and dumped their entire contents into a large ceramic bowl, heating it up in the microwave. I barely paid attention when he carelessly dropped the bowl onto the center of the kitchen table.
“We’re supposed to eat that?” Nick asked, staring at the concoction in disgust.
“It’s just…chicken. And some rice and mushrooms. And…green beans?” Joe rambled off the foods as he saw them, sorting through the bowl with a fork.
“Those aren’t green beans.” Nick shook his head. Joe rolled his eyes.
“String beans? Whatever dude, just eat it.”
“No, it’s like…spinach or something.”
“Spinach is leafy, not beany.”
“Beany isn’t a word.”
“Would you just shut up and eat?”
“I’m not touching it unless I know what’s in it. Would it have killed you to put things on separate plates?”
“It all goes to the same place! And I’m telling you, they're green beans!” I closed my eyes for a moment; trying to stop the headache I knew was coming. I took my fork and plopped a helping of the meal onto each of their plates, shutting them up immediately.
“It’s been a long night. No one needs to hear your ridiculous little arguments right now. It’s asparagus, alright? Now either be quiet and eat your dinner or get started on the dishes.” I demanded, keeping my voice low and steady. Nick opened his mouth, a matter-of-fact expression on his face. “I know mom told me to wash. If you don’t want to eat you can just join Frankie and go to bed early then.” I said, predicting his next protest before he could say it. He slouched down in his chair and picked up his fork, shoving a piece of chicken into his mouth without another word. Joe looked at me confusedly, and I looked back at him, keeping my gaze fixed on his eyes. After a moment he gave in and began eating in silence. I leaned back in my seat, watching them. I didn’t boss them around too often, at least not anymore, and it was satisfying to know that I could successfully go into big brother mode if I wanted to. I had no appetite, and I didn’t take any food for myself. Instead I retold Rachel’s story in my mind, trying to figure out the many parts she left out, like how and where she left to, how she ended up back with us today, hanging out in the mall just like any siblings might. I wondered about a lot of things, but mostly why I lived three out of my eighteen years of life a younger brother, but fifteen out of those eighteen being led to think that I was the firstborn of the family.

“Did Nick and Joe go to bed?” I asked cautiously, peeking into the living room.
“Yes, Nicholas should be asleep by now, Joseph just went up.” My dad replied, preoccupied with the papers laid out in front of him.
“Can I talk to you guys then?” I asked, not sure if it was a good idea or not.
“Of course you can, Kevin. Any time.” My mom smiled, moving over on the couch and patting the seat next to her. I sat down. She turned to face me, crossing her legs Indian style and leaning back, her elbows resting on the arm of the couch behind her. “Is it about a girl?” She asked eagerly. Why is it that mothers always obsess about their sons having girlfriends?
“No.” I watched her expression change. “Well yea, sort of.” I admitted. She smiled.
“Is she nice? What classes do you have together? Have I met her? Is she pretty? Have you talked to her yet?” She shot the questions at me at lightning speed.
“Oh, you know her alright.” I mumbled. “She seems nice, and yea, she’s pretty, like you.” I nodded, letting her think that ‘like you’ just meant I was calling her pretty, not that the girl was almost identical to her.
“Oh, thank you honey, that’s sweet. What's her name?” I hesitated.
“Rachel.” I focused on her eyes, the happy glow in the flickered for just a moment.
“Rachel? I don’t think we’ve met, who are her parents?” I ignored the question.
“And…she doesn’t go to school with me.” I said slowly. At this point my dad stopped working on his paperwork and turned to listen to the conversation. I stood and looked at both of them, my gaze hardening. “I think you might remember her, she used to live with us. She tended to call you ‘mom’ and ‘dad’, you know, like a daughter might do? Does this ring a bell?” My mom’s eyes widened.
“Rachel!” She breathed, her eyes leaving to some faraway place. A painful place.
“Kevin,” My dad said quietly. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, then just shook his head, unable to find the words he wanted.
“When were you guys planning on telling us we had an older sister?” I asked, trying to remain calm.
“Kevin, Rachel chose to leave. A long time ago. She’s a very independent girl, when she sets her mind to something, she does it. There was no way we could stop her, all we could do was keep in touch with your grandparents and make sure she was safe, and pray that she would come back someday. But if she didn’t, which she hasn’t, we didn’t want you boys growing up feeling that your sister didn’t care about you because she never contacted us. It was best to just let you think she never existed, to let you live your own lives.” My dad tried to explain. I didn’t listen.
“Did you think we wouldn’t find out eventually? We met Rachel today, at the mall! That’s why we were late, that was the girl Joe was talking about meeting! We’d been in contact with her for a couple of years now! It’s great to know that we can’t rely on our parents to trust us with this kind of information, that we have to hear it from complete strangers!” I hissed, my voice rising with every word. My eyes stung as I held back tears and I clenched my fists at my sides.
“I’m sorry, Kevin. We thought it would be what was best for you at the time.” My mom said calmly. “We have a bunch of pictures and some of her old stuff in the attic, if you’d like to see it.” She offered. I had no idea how she was remaining so mellow.
“Yea, now might be a good time. You know, after nineteen years.” I snapped. I had no idea how I was getting away with all this. My mother simply nodded and left the room. My dad and I sat in silence until she returned, carrying a large cardboard box. Rachel’s name was scribbled on the sides and the lid in a fading permanent marker. She quietly placed the box on the coffee table and opened it without a word. I could see the look in her eyes change dramatically once she saw the contents, and I saw my dad look down, away from the box, and gulp. I sorted through the items, pulling out numerous old photo albums. I flipped through the pages quickly, passing pictures of Rachel from the time she was born to when she was Nick’s age. There were pictures of the two of us; me asleep in her lap or laughing with joy as she gave me a piggy-back ride; us clad in brightly colored bathing suits running through sprinklers in the backyard; her holding Joseph as a bright pink newborn and feeding him a bottle. I swallowed hard and blinked back tears. Setting the albums aside, I rummaged through the rest of the things. There were a few old dolls, some clothes that would be way too small for her now, and various school papers.
“I can’t believe this.” I muttered, slamming the papers I held on the table. All of this stuff has been with me for my entire life, but it had been kept hidden, unspoken of. Once again, anger overcame my entire body.
“How could you just keep this away from us?” I shouted, breathing heavily in fury. My mom shook her head, her eyes wet and glassy, threatening to overflow with tears at any moment. My dad opened his mouth, clearly about to give me the long overdue lecture for using ‘the tone’ with them, but I didn’t stick around to hear it. Instead I grabbed my jacket and car keys and stormed outside into the late night darkness, slamming the front door behind me and driving off, only one destination in mind.

[Tash]

when r u gonna finish? i've been waiting like a year?

[Anna]

Oh snap. It has been practically a year...whoops
I kinda forgot about this..I've been working on a different fanfic on another website lately, but I'll reread this one to refresh my memory about it and see what I can do about finishing it. Sorry it's been so long!