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Post by bugsbunny14 on Sept 21, 2008 18:02:48 GMT -5
A/N: So this is my first ever fanfiction! YAY ME! Anywho, just tell me what ya think and if I should go on with it.
Chapter 1
“OH MY JONAS!!!”
“AHHH!!!!”
“JOE, WILL YOU MARRY ME??!!”
“NICK, YOU’RE SOOOO HOTT!!”
“SWEET!!! KEVIN’S S.O.S. DANCE!!”
Yeah. That’s what I was hearing from my 3rd row seats at the Jonas Brothers concert in Chicago, Illinois. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the boys, but this was just crazy! I mean, they’re just 3 teenage guys. Okay, so they’re three incredibly CUTE teenage guys, but still, give them some air to breathe! They don’t need to hear how unbelievably hot they are every two seconds.
I quickly stopped thinking about why they were so lovable when Joe announced that their next song would be Take A Breath, my personal favorite.
“I walked across a crowded street. A sea of eyes cut through me, and I saw you in the middle.”
I looked away from Joe to glance over at Nick. Definitely my favorite brother out of the three, but I do love Joe and Kevin. Nick’s just different, more; I don’t know how to put it. He’s just amazing.
“World’s spinning round. There’s no sign of slowing down, so won’t you take a breath. Just take a breath.”
When Nick started singing the chorus, his eyes met mine. He looked at me for a second, then he got a surprised and shocked look on his face. He gave me a small smile. I gave him a slightly weak smile in return and held his gaze.
“People change and promises are broken. Clouds can move…uh…and…I uh…”
Wait! Back up! Rewind! Did Nick just forget the words??? He never messes up lyrics! Music means too much to him for him to do that!
I couldn’t figure out what had caused him to screw up. The only thing I could think of was seeing me. Now I understand why that would throw him off, but did I really make him that nervous??
Our eyes locked again. I gave him a confused look and raised an eyebrow. He blushed and looked away. I saw Joe give him a ‘What the hell, man?’ look for messing up the lyrics. Nick just ignored him and looked at me again. This time, though, Joe followed his eyes.
I looked to Joe and smiled. His eyes got wide and he gave me a very strained grin. I rolled my eyes and looked at my feet. This was harder than I thought was all I could think as I felt the tears in my eyes.
“OH MY GOD!!!”
“JOE WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT ME!”
“NO! HE WAS LOOKING AT ME!!”
“YEAH RIGHT! HE WAS OBVIOUSLY LOOKING AT ME!!”
Sorry to disappoint you girls, but he was, unfortunately, looking at me.
Now I’m sure you’re wondering what the heck is going on. These are probably the main questions on your mind: Do you know the Jonas Brothers? Are they mad at you? Are you mad at them?
Well, here goes nothing. My name is Tori Carver and I knew the Jonas Brothers.
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So review please and tell me what you think! =] I'd really appreciate it! And I'm up for some constructive criticism, too. And one last thing... if you have any ideas for this story, let me know! Cuz chances are, I will have writers block at some point and can use your idea! Thanks!
<3
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Post by Anna on Sept 21, 2008 19:46:30 GMT -5
hmm. ok, now im curious. good start, especially for a first fanfic.
im not sure what you learned in elementary school writing class, but my old teacher's whole thing was to start the story with a "hook", pull the readers in and make them want more.
youve got that down.
i say you should go ahead and continue, sounds like it could be an interesting story
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Post by kaitlynjonas on Sept 21, 2008 22:42:46 GMT -5
more please ! [:
its really good.
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Post by bugsbunny14 on Sept 23, 2008 13:39:22 GMT -5
So... I thought I would give you a little background info on the characters...
Of course we have Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas. This takes place probably during this past summer on the Burnin' Up Tour. So Nick's 15, Joe's 18, and Kevin's 20.
Now for Tori. She's a 13 year old girl with shoulder length, dirty blonde, curly hair. She has bright blue-green eyes and has a few freckles. She's 5'6". She loves basketball, cheerleading, and tennis. She's a freshman at the local public high school. She's kind of known as the quiet girl. She doesn't talk a lot and is somewhat sheltered, except from the people that know her best. Her closest friend hates the Jonas Brothers, so she was at the concert by herself and is actually picked on by her friend for liking them. She loves the boys music and supports them 100%.
But is there a reason why she is so supportive??
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So I just kind of wanted to give you an idea of how I see Tori. That's kind of based off of one of my friends. By the way, I"m sorry the first chapter was a little bit short. Just give me some time to get more into the story and they will get longer. And if I don't add a new chapter tonight, I will probably add one later today or tomorrow. School has been soooo crazy!
<3
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Post by bugsbunny14 on Sept 25, 2008 13:33:11 GMT -5
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Post by bugsbunny14 on Sept 26, 2008 13:59:22 GMT -5
A/N: So sorry about how long this took!! But I wrote the chapter and then completely changed it cuz I had a better idea! So here you go!
Chapter 2
Nick’s POV
So here I am again sitting in a big room with my brothers and the rest of the band. I’m strumming random chords on my guitar while Joe does weird vocal warm-ups and everyone else is watching Kevin chug a 2-liter Mountain Dew. That’s a stupid thing to do before going onstage, Kev.
“The Pizza Hut. The Pizza Hut. Kentucky Fried Chicken and the Pizza Hut!” Joe yelled at the top of his lungs.
“What kind of warm-up is that?” I asked.
Everyone’s heads turned to quickly look at me. Kevin choked on his soda and spit it all over Garbo. They must’ve forgotten that I was there because I scared them half to death when I spoke. I hadn’t realized I was being that quiet.
“That’s rude, Nicholas. Taylor taught me that!” Joe said. Rudely, might I add. And, yeah. He’s dating Taylor Swift. They had been keeping it from the press, but they were extremely obvious when around each other. I don’t like her, though. If you ask me, she’s dumber than Paris Hilton’s chihuahua.
I snorted and went back to my guitar.
“5 minutes till showtime, boys!” Our stage manager called to us.
Great. Another late night with 4 hours of sleep. I don’t even know what city we’re in. My life is way too hectic.
Before I knew it, I was ushered onto the stage with Joe and Kevin. God, the screams were enough to kill a herd of elephants.
When we started playing, everything else disappeared. It was just my voice, my guitar, and me. That’s the feeling I live for.
Joe’s voice broke my trance.
“This next song is Take A Breath! I wanna hear you sing along!” Joe was smiling at a girl in the front row. Typical. She was a bleach- blonde, big boobed, idiot. I mean, he has a girlfriend. Why can’t he respect that?
But wait. He can’t be faithful! He’s Joe- effing- Jonas! I hated who Joe had become. He’d let the fame get to his head. He thought he was king of the world and could have any girl he wanted. The worst part was, he COULD get any girl. They all love him and see him as hot, funny, and sweet. Real life Joe is NOT like that. I was sick of him.
“I walked across a crowded street. A sea of eyes cut through me, and I saw you in the middle.”
I scanned the crowd reading the signs. I loved to see what people wrote. I laughed when I saw one that said, “Nick J is Off MY Chain!” I should do that rap again. It was pretty funny.
“World’s spinning round. There’s no sign of slowing down, so won’t you take a breath. Just take a breath.”
My eyes still wandered the crowd, until they landed on a familiar face. I couldn’t believe it. I smiled at her and kept on singing.
“People change and promises are broken. Clouds can move…uh…and…I uh…”
I did NOT just do that! I looked at my feet and breathed deeply. I cannot believe I messed up the lyrics. I looked up at her again. She raised an eyebrow questioningly and I looked away to my brothers. Joe looked pissed. Kevin looked confused. I couldn’t stand the way my 18 year old brother was looking at me, so I turned my head to her for the millionth time that night.
I noticed Joe out of the corner of my eye turn his head to where I was looking. Crap. He saw her. If he didn’t look pissed before, he sure did now. He tried to smile at her, but I could see through it, and so could she. I swore I saw a tear leave her eye.
That was it. I took my guitar from my shoulder and raced offstage before I did something I would regret.
I couldn’t think straight. What was she doing here?
I glanced over my shoulder and Kevin gave me a questioning look. Joe was actually following me. Fantastic. He’s gonna kill me for ruining “his” show.
But he didn’t look mad. He looked confused. Sad, even. He walked up to the chair I was now sitting in and let out a long sigh. He met my eyes and one, short, emotional word escaped his mouth.
“Tori.”
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So there it is! Review please! And the next chapter will be up in a few days probably!
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Post by Anna on Sept 26, 2008 17:51:44 GMT -5
ahh! even if it IS just a story, and even if he IS a jerk in this particular story, i love him for doing that. that song is an old tradition for a certain trip some of us go on at my school.
mcdonalds, mcdonalds... ;D
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Post by bugsbunny14 on Sept 26, 2008 19:21:46 GMT -5
ahh! even if it IS just a story, and even if he IS a jerk in this particular story, i love him for doing that. that song is an old tradition for a certain trip some of us go on at my school. mcdonalds, mcdonalds... ;D lol. we do it at my school in choir. me and my friend love it!! we always do the hand motions and people think we're crazy! =] |
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Post by bugsbunny14 on Sept 26, 2008 19:28:05 GMT -5
Okay. So I totally forgot to mention that I'm changing Tori a little bit. Instead of being 13, she's gonna be 16 almost 17. That'll fit better with the way I'm writing this now. So she's not a freshman, she's a junior.
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Post by bugsbunny14 on Oct 1, 2008 14:38:45 GMT -5
A/N: So... next chapter! Review please!
Chapter 3
Tori’s POV
I knew that this was a horrible idea. Of course he still hated me. Why wouldn’t he? I guess I had hoped that I would be able to sit in the crowd, unnoticed. Well, so much for that idea!
I looked up at the stage just in time to see Joe chasing Nick off of it. Kevin was just standing there kind of confused. I guess he finally came to his senses and realized he was onstage alone, though, because he hesitantly walked to the center mic where Joe had been moments before.
He cleared his throat. “So, I have no idea what’s going on with Nick and Joe. This isn’t like them.”
I couldn’t stand to look at his face, so I kept my eyes focused on his shoes. He, of course, had on a pair of black boots. Some things never change.
Kevin went on speaking. “I’m going to go find them and see what’s up. We should be back in a few minutes with some awesome music! Hopefully, when I get back, I’ll be able to tell you what threw them off. So I’ll be-” He stopped.
I, being the STUPIDLY curious person that I am, tore my gaze away from his boots. Did I mention that that was stupid? Cuz it definitely was. Unfortunately, against my better judgment, I did it anyways. And you wanna know what happened? Well, when I looked at his face to find a reason for his abrupt silence, the last thing I wanted to happen happened. Those two hazel eyes belonging to Paul Kevin Jonas II were staring right back at me.
The way he looked at me was different from the way his brothers did. He wasn’t happy like Nick. Or mad like Joe. Kevin is too hard to read, but if I had to guess, I would say that he was disappointed. No, not disappointed to see me. Disappointed that I… well, that’s a story for another time.
He shocked me when he spoke again. “I stand corrected. I think I just found the reason for my brothers’ strange behavior,” he said, his eyes boring into me.
I just wanted to disappear right then and there. I turned on my heel and tried to make my way through the crowd, away from the stage, away from Kevin, but there were too many people. The girls were still screaming and I was pushed every way possible. Then I saw it, a way out through the crazy teens with OJD. I made my way over to a gap between two hyperventilating blondes.
Before I could get away, something broke through the screams. “Don’t leave.” Kevin’s voice was so quiet that I was surprised the microphone even picked it up.
My feet just stopped working. Try as I might, I couldn’t move. So I did another stupid thing: I turned around to face him. He was standing there with a sad look on his face. At some point while I was trying to escape, he must’ve put down his guitar. It was just him in his white skinny jeans, black wifebeater, and black boots. Now he’s being darty-eyed and playing with the hem of his shirt.
“Why?” I screamed with all of my energy, but he didn’t hear me due to all of the girls around me. He noticed that I said something, though. Then he did something that I never would’ve thought of. He used sign language.
FLASHBACK
Me and Kevin were sitting on the couch in his basement watching Joe and Nick battle it out in MarioKart. We had been instructed not to talk by Joe because we were “making him suck.” When in reality, he just sucked.
Kevin nudged me in the ribs. “I’m bored,” he whispered to me. I nodded, agreeing.
“Hey! I heard that! No talking, remember?” Joe said, distractedly. “And now Nick’s in front of me! Thanks, Kev.”
Kevin just shrugged and got off the couch. He walked out the door and motioned for me to follow. We walked into the kitchen where he went over to the pantry and grabbed a pack of Oreos. He tossed one to me and I proceeded to pull it apart and eat the icing on the inside. Kevin laughed when I threw the cookie part away.
“You’re a dork,” he said with a mouthful of cookie.
“What can I say? The icing’s the best part!” I defended myself.
“Whatever.” Kevin rolled his eyes. He walked past me and rushed up the stairs. I followed him, jumping the stairs two at a time.
“In a rush much, Kev?” I said as I found him in his room. “And you think I’m a dork.”
“Well, me and you aren’t even close to being as much of a dork as Mr. No Talking that’s sitting downstairs,” he said smirking.
“True. You know what we should do?” I didn’t even give him a chance to say anything before I continued on, telling him my idea. “We should learn sign language.”
“That was really random!” He said smiling. “But why would we need to?”
“So that when Joe wants us to be quiet, we can still talk to each other and not be bored,” I replied.
“Let’s do it!” Kevin yelled.
END FLASHBACK
I smiled when I thought about that. We had stayed up for hours memorizing hand motions. It took forever, but we got really good at it.
I watched as Kevin spelled out, “What did you say?”
I replied, telling him, “Why?”
“Why what?” He signed, looking confused.
I rolled my eyes. I signed back to him, “Why should I not leave?”
Realization hit him that time, but he didn’t sign back. Instead, he spoke into the mic.
“Because, Tori, you can’t show up and just leave…again,” he added. I could hear his voice cracking towards the end of the sentence.
I had completely forgotten that I was standing in and audience at a concert. It had become extremely quiet when Kevin spoke again, which made it easier to talk to him. The girls around me were all staring at me, jealousy in their eyes. I just ignored them.
“I didn’t really expect you guys to notice me,” I spoke while blowing a stray piece of hair out of my face. I was trying really hard to keep from crying.
“Well, we did,” Kevin said. I just stared at him. “You can’t keep running from things, Tor. You need to realize that.”
I bit my bottom lip. “I can try.” And with that, I bolted through the crowd.
I heard Kevin call to me. “Tori! Come back!”
I just kept running, never looking back. I hated running from this, from him, from them, but I had to.
I finally reached the edge of the crowd as I heard a bunch of screams. I gues Nick and Joe are back to do another song.
“I’m glad that’s over with,” I muttered to myself as I walked to the front gates.
All of a sudden, a guy comes out of nowhere, picks me up, and throws me over his shoulder. Who the hell does this guy think he is?!
“It’s not over yet,” The man says in a husky voice. That’s when I realized that he was heading back in the direction of everything I had just run away from.
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The next one's written and should be up soon!
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