just jenny [Complete]

[kellsterr]

Jen!!! your killing me! i need to know that happens nexttttttt! pleaseee post more sooooooooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bloodtypeespresso]

[Chapter 24]

Hearing the door click shut behind him, I grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it in that general direction. Of course I completely missed which only aggravated me further, but at least I'm not crying yet.

But what sucks even more than my pitiful aim, and vain attempts to avoid a crying hangover, is the fact that this was somewhat self inflected. I'm not some sort of masochist, but I did avoid him a little bit...Okay a lot bit. Not because I wanted any of this to happen, but I knew I was getting in way over my head, getting a real-life-honest-to-goodness-I-could-be-happy kind of crush on a guy that is not only emotionally unavailable (I don't do the sneaky thing), but the one guy in my life I'd really hate to lose. Oh, what's that? My plan failed, yeah thanks I noticed.

It's just...he's right, I know he is. Sure, he was harsh, but at the end of the day I am scared. Yeah, I'm jealous too, but not of him, of the vapid Barbie doll he's running back to. But that's not the point...the point is he knows, I mean he has to...right? He practically demanded I come clean with my crush, and I froze. I couldn't do it, not even because I know I wouldn't be happy with a secret relationship, or the fact that he can't have a public one, but because I was scared. In that split second where he raised his voice, that look in his eye, took me back to a place in my life I thought I'd finally left behind. It was just a split second, but that moment's hesitation was more than enough to ruin the best relationship I've ever had with a guy...and we weren't even dating. Oh look, there goes Kevin being right again...I am pathetic.

Pushing aside the empty food containers I wrapped myself in the mess of blankets left in our wake, and finally allowed myself to break down, knowing full well that it wouldn't happen again; at least not over tonight's events. No matter what lay ahead for Kev and I, I'd have to get up, dust myself off, put on some fierce shoes (because great shoes always make everything just a little bit better), and continue living my life.



Kevin's Pov.

I stood there in shock just looking at the door in disbelief. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours...I wouldn't really know. What I do know is that by the time I left I was thoroughly disgusted with myself.

Which is probably why I got in my rental car and made a beeline for the airport. That's right, I came all this way, potentially ruined the best relationship I've ever had with a girl I'm not even dating, just to head back home in the middle of the night, leaving Brittany a quick message letting her know we're over, and this isn't going to work.

Six and a half hours.

That's how long I had to think about what happened, Okay so I had a little more time, but at least in the airport I was able to play games on my phone and avoid the subject. The plane on the other hand was a totally different story.

So after all this reflecting, I came to one conclusion...I messed up. Okay so there's more to it than that, like the startling realization that it hurt me more when Jen didn't ask me to pick her, than it did when she insulted Brittany.

Yeah, I know that's a big one. Here I thought I was over this stupid crush I had on her, only to realize I was using Brittany to replace her, which is why I called the brunch off, I'm not that kind of guy, I can't even use a girl who cheated on me.

---

I know it's a little short and I'll post more soon....but thanks to those of you still reading this! <3

[bloodtypeespresso]

[Chapter 25]

As predicted my eyes were swollen, my head hurt, and I was nauseous the next day. But other than that, there was really nothing out of the ordinary. I can't honestly say that I felt like my life was over, only that a very important part of it was somehow gone. That is until my phone went off.

“Why, you wanna tell me how to live my life?
Who, are you to tell me if it's black or white?” blared from my cellphone startling me out of my daze.

“Hello?” I asked cautiously noting Nick's name on the caller ID.

“Hey Jenny, how're you holding up?” He asked throwing me for a loop.

“Um...huh?” I asked my eloquence at it's peek.

“Kevin just got here...and though I didn't stick around for the whole story, I thought you might need to talk to someone.” Did I mention I love this kid?

“Thanks hon...but how much did you hear?” I asked a little nervous as to how I was portrayed, and not wanting to tell him anything to make him think less of his older brother.

“He went to New York to see Brittany, went over to your place, you kicked him out...and he never went to see her.” he said softly.

“Well you got the gist of it...” I trailed off, I don't know what he wants me to tell him.

“Okay...but why'd you kick him out? It must have been big right?” When the heck did Nick get so chatty?

“Yeah...” I sighed, “It was pretty bad.” I finally answered flopping on my couch with my coffee.

“Do you...want to talk about it? I know that's usually Kevin's job but...well I don't want you to think that it's over between you and the family just because of my stupid brother. And you know I'm happy to listen.” Aw!

“The Family?” I asked smirking while fingering the little sock charm, “You make it sound like you're the mob!” I giggled listening to him sigh. Nick really is the most mature one of the bunch.

“You know what I mean...so...?” he trailed off.

“It was nothing...well obviously it was something, but I don't even know. We were talking about how we don't talk much any more and then out of nowhere he starts thanking me telling me he's reconnected with Brittany because I'm no longer around as much, and they're talking about giving it another go...and that's why he's in the city.” I ranted.

“So that's why you kicked him out? Wow, Jen I don't like her either and it was effective, but wasn't that just a little rash?” he asked in disbelief.

“Uhh...that's not all, you curly headed dork!” I laughed. Rolling my eyes.

“Okay, so what else?” he asked seriously, giving me a slight glimpse at the guy who wrote A Little Bit Longer and Black Keys as opposed to the kid I tend to pick on.

“Um...” I started a little ashamed of this next part. “I told him she wasn't good enough....”

“Oh boy.” I heard Nick mumble.

“And obviously he got mad, and told me I was just scared and had no right to...to be jealous that he wasn't going to end up alone.” I left out the pathetic, Nick is still Kevin's younger brother after all. That and I know I'm pathetic....even if it's not for the reasons Kevin thinks, plus I don't want to cry.

“He did what?” Oops, Nick sounds mad.

“Sweetie, it's fine, I told off his almost girlfriend, and I am alone and scared...probably always will be. Yes it hurt, and I kicked him out, but he's not the only one to blame here.” I can't be The-girl-who-broke-up-the-Jonas-Brothers.

“Okay so you didn't return all of his calls, and you told off Cruella, he still has no right to speak to you like that Jen. Nobody does. Especially....”Here he trailed off as if he'd said too much.

“Especially what Nick?” I asked my curiosity peeked.

“...Knowing why you're scared and consequently still alone.” He mumbled softly. Well I guess I don't have to wonder if Kevin ever told his brothers.

“Ah, that....” I sighed.

“I'm sorry if you didn't want me to know, it's just...” he started frantically.

“It's okay. I never expected Kevin to keep it from you all, it's not really a secret or anything. But even so Nicky, maybe he's right. I don't feel comfortable with a lot of people and the ones I do feel comfortable with...”

“Tell you they want to date demon spawn?” he chuckled.

“Shut up!” I laughed, feeling just a tiny bit better and not caring that he basically outed me.

“At least you're laughing.” He laughed along with me.

“Psh! I was tricked into that!” I giggled, feeling a little less alone.

“Maybe. So...are you in love with my brother?” Wow talk about blunt! “Because, just so you know he can be a bit of a butt, and I'm not sure I want him hurting you anymore.” he added.

Well that was a little unexpected. “Nicky, he's your brother, I don't want to be the reason you don't get along.” I sighed, side stepping the question.

“I know he's my brother, and I'm not choosing sides, I'll always have his back, but I'm allowed to be cross with him if he hurts one of my best friends.” He stated firmly. “Plus that's not an answer.” I heard him smirk!!!

“Uhhh! You suck! I don't know...maybe?” Yes, I'm asking someone six years my junior to let me know if I'm indeed in love with his oldest brother...how pathetic!

“Why maybe?” he asked curious.

“You really want to hear this about your older brother?” I asked before I delved deeper into the topic....I mean I don't even know what might come out of my mouth!

“That's why I asked.” he calmly replied, all Kevin-clone like.

“Well...as ridiculous as it sounds, I've never really felt this way. Sure I've loved Kevin, and all you guys for a long time now, but this is different. I know I could fall in love with him, I'm just not sure I should.” Because I'm more than scared, I'm triffid I added silently.

“Jen, I know what I said, but Kevin would never intentionally hurt you, you know that right?” He asked almost shocked.

“Yes, a billion times yes, but Nicky I'm scared. What if he doesn't like me back? Of even worse...what if he does?” I all but whispered the last part knowing how irrational it all sounds.

“Okay now I'm confused. First of all, highly doubt he wouldn't like you back, and second why would that be a bad thing? You said it yourself you love us, and you know we all love you too.” Uh that's just it! I can't help but think Kevin would understand so much better than his mini me over here.

“What if it doesn't work out? What if I'm not what he wants? Being the best friend....that I can do. Girl friend? I kind of suck at. Actually right now I'm pretty much sucking at the best friend part too. Nick, I was pretty badly broken before he came along...and only recently have I started to feel something close to whole...what if I'm not enough?” I asked. “You called me today because your brother and his friend had a falling out....but what about when I'm your brother's ex? What are the chances of you calling me then?” Okay, I'm gonna make myself cry again if I keep this up. I have got to stop this gosh darn pity party.

“I called because my friend found out her crush was considering getting back together with his ex. And IF you and Kevin break up, I won't call. I'll come over because my friend just broke up with her boyfriend.” He stated firmly.

“UH! How badly did I mess this whole thing up?” I asked feeling like the teenager.

“I don't know. You and Kevin are kind of weird...but I'm sure things will work out eventually.” Gee thanks.

“So...how are things going in your love life?” I asked getting up to refill my coffee.

“Smooth. The same, I'm not really seeing anyone right now, but I go out on dates now and then. I'm good though.” he chuckled. “so...will you be okay?” he asked.

“Yes, are you taking care of yourself?” I retorted.

“Uh! Yes MOM!” I bet I got an eye roll!

“You better young man!” I mock scolded. “And thanks.”

“Any time. Now I have to go and make sure Joe doesn't do anything stupid. Keep in touch though, 'kay?” he asked waiting for my conformation.

“Will do. Bye hon.” I laughed.

“Bye!” he chuckled hanging up, and leaving me even more confused.

[bloodtypeespresso]

[Chapter 26]

“Stupid, stupid, stupid head!” I yelled at the traitor (aka: my ex-coffee maker), as it refused to percolate. It seems ever since Kevin and my falling out, everything is out to get me.

No we still haven't spoken.

I suppose after speaking to Nick and all but admitting my crush out loud, everything was supposed to magically be alright? I'd call Kevin, tell him how much I need him in my life, and somehow we'd come to the conclusion that despite our flaws he and I make each other better, distance isn't a factor (the coffee bond is stronger than that), and we'll live happily ever after.

Hah! This isn't a fairy tale, this isn't the 'once upon a time' (or at least we're not there yet) I've always wanted, because once I hung up with Nick I just couldn't bring myself to call Kevin. Sure I've sort of worked out what I feel for him. It's no secret, in my mind, that like it or not I have a crush on my best friend. I don’t care what Nick says, I’m not admitting to love right now.

But I have no idea what he thinks. I mean, sure there've been times when I think maybe...he could like me. You know, like when we have movie nights and sneak off to talk afterwords, and he makes sure I'm not cold, or lacking in caffeine. Or maybe when I first met him and he gave me his shirt, and then my birthday was amazing thanks to him. But he was taken for most of that time, so it was never something I read into. Kevin is a nice guy, an amazing guy, but that's what makes it so hard to figure out whether or not he wants to be more than just my best friend.

“AHHHH!” I yelled throwing my arms up in exasperation , both at my lack of coffee and the enigma that is Kevin Jonas.

Grabbing my coat and bag I decided to just head on over to the office as no caffeination is going to come from here and all this obsessing is doing my head in.

Realistically, I've never been that girl. You know the one who sits there and pines? I've never been the kind of person who can't live without someone else, that’s stupid. Life goes on even when those you love are no longer in it...people die every day. The thing is...I still don't want to. I don't want to get used to knowing Kevin isn't going to call. I know I could do it (call that is), but the fact of the matter is this was a pretty heavy argument, whether I want to admit it or not. And texting, emailing or even calling isn't going to fix this. Not really, I have to do this in person, only I unlike some people, don't have a private jet.

Okay that was just rude on my part, but I miss my best friend, work coffee sucks, Starbucks was full, and I'm scared to call him, and he likes leggy blonds and...is that an email form Kevin?

To: [e-mail]
From: [e-mail]
Subject: Hey...

This is Joe.

We're doing some press and my phone died, plus I don't think you're up yet, so I'm emailing you from Kevin' s phone (don't tell him I took it!). How are you? I know you spoke to Nick and he told me you'd be fine, but it's been over two weeks and I have yet to speak to you, so I can't really be sure.

By the way you can't like Nick better than me, so if he's your new best friend I demand to be your brother!

So, anyway by the looks of Kevin this morning I'm guessing you haven't spoken to him either...he's miserable, in case you were wondering. The only reason I have his phone is because he left it out here when he went to the restroom. Usually he's checking it nonstop. Don't worry too much, I think he just can't figure out what to say or something...I can't figure him out. Anyway, we're throwing a surprise party for him in LA early next month (5th, so really a week and a half), make plans to attend whether you're speaking to him or not, I want to see you!

Your favorite brother,
Joey

p.s. You can reply to my phone, or email. By the time you wake up and get all coffeed up, I should be back online!

False alarm.

After checking my email, I went to get more coffee as eloquence can not be expected from me when the coffee's low...then I actually had to get to work. Moping over Kevin is a nightmare on my productivity, and if I want any chance of going to that party I have to really plead my case with Chief. In all of my haste and worrying over deadlines, and whether or not Kevin would even want me there (*cough* if I feel like messing up his party by showing up *cough*) I sort of forgot to do one teeny tiny little thing...

“Help! I need Somebody. Help!” Blared from my cell phone as Joe's name flashed on the screen.

“Hello?” I answered tentatively.


“Hello? Hello? That's all I get?! You scared me woman!” Joe scolded me frantically. Oops?

“I was working!” I laughed.

“Since when!?!?!” Hey! I can just picture him flailing his arms about, and pacing.

“Since way before I met you, you've been here, you know what I do.” I explained patiently.

“Yeah, but it's your life. So like, can't you just fall and then draw it or something? At very least you could have texted me back so I know you're ALIVE!” Drama queen!

“It's not that easy. The last couple of weeks have been crazy in a not funny way, and then because things are going so well I'm getting more and more press offers, which means I have to have tons of stuff done in advance, and I'll probably have to do some interview or other just to convince my boss to give me enough time off to attend this little shin dig you're throwing.” I defended slightly amused.

“Wait....you'll come!?” And here I thought he wanted me there.

“You invited me. And I'm not sure, I mean I'll try and I had an idea for a gift, but that was before everything....well you know.” I trailed off, seriously rethinking the whole thing. Sure assuming we're not on speaking terms that'll give me an opportunity to confront him personally. But then again, it's his birthday and I don't want to mess it up even more than moping would.

“No, come! You are invited and I know he wants you there. Or he will once he figures it out since it's supposed to be a surprise.” He whispered.

“Are you sure? We haven't spoken, and blah, this whole think is just so stupid!” I sighed twirling in my chair.

“I'm sure. He'll love it, he thinks we're booked with press all day! But hey I've got to go we have some interview we need to get to and I should have been in the car five minutes ago.” It only took me a second after hanging up with Joe to realize what I had to do.

The amount of time I sat in my cubical staring at my text message working up the nerve to send it though seemed like an eternity. Eventually the realization that showing up at his party without patching things up would no doubt ruin it won. Nobody can enjoy anything with all that pent up weirdness in the air.

To: CoffeeGuy
<3

Looking at the text message one last time I took a deep breath and hit send, before snapping my phone shut and tossing it on my desk like it was on fire. Not two seconds passed before it vibrated signaling an incoming text.

From: CoffeeGuy
<3

Letting out the breath I'd been holding I finally got back to work.

[bloodtypeespresso]

[bloodtypeespresso]

[Chapter 27]

“You’re on in five!” Some guy in black with a headset whispered urgently in my direction making things OH so much less nerve wracking…NOT!

What the heck am I even doing here? I’m not anybody, I’m the Jonas Brothers’ little side kick, I’m the girl who can’t walk into a room without tripping…I’m not a celebrity!

Breathe Jen!

I’m going to kill Joe.

Well Chief too…but mainly Joe as he set all this up! Apparently, Ellen just happened to have an opening on her November 5th taping, and Joe suggested she contact me…or “my people” and now here I am a nervous wreck waiting for my cue so I can go humiliate myself on television (because print isn’t enough), then rush to pick up the gift, so I can make it to top-secret-party-place in order to surprise my best friend who I’ve yet to hold a full conversation with since our falling out.

It’s been a week and a half and aside from the cell phone hieroglyphics which are quickly becoming our only means of communication, we haven’t exchanged more than a few words as we’ve both been swamped, and have this unspoken agreement not to bring up the fight.

“That’s you!” Head-set-guy hissed as 'Jenny from the Block' started playing. I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest as I walked out there…then I made eye contact with Ellen and somehow I let out the breath I’d been holding. I know her right? She’s nice, and I just have to make it a few more steps without falling and I’ll be fine.

When I finally made it up on her little stage, up the steps, and into her hug I swear I felt like I’d won the Nobel Prize or something! Walking all that distance, to music, in front of all those people, climbing the two steps and not falling! “It'll be fine.” Ellen whispered in my ear before motioning to the chair on her right.

“So, Jenny thank you for being here, we've actually met before and I told you you'd be on and now here we are.” at least she's easing me into the interview.

“Thank you for having me, I'm a huge fan. And like you said we've met before with Portia, and y'all were wonderful, and looked amazing.” I smiled chancing a look at the audience, while the tech people flashed a photo of Ellen and her wife (I don't care if the marriage is no longer legal) a couple of months ago . Okay not so bad....gonna kill Joe, but not too bad.

“Oh, well thank you, it was fun.” Break for loud audience, “Now lets get to business, you started out drawing a comic strip for a small newspaper is that right?” she asked, luckily getting into my work, and motioning to a monitor where they had one of my comics displayed. Sure it's a little embarrassing to talk about myself trying not to sound like I'm bragging, but at least for now the focus is on something I've accomplished, and not just who I hang out with.

“Yes, The Daily Observer in New York. I started out freelance and eventually got a regular spot.” I smiled.

“Wow, and now it's been picked up by countless newspapers all around the country in addition to a column based off of this?”she asked.

“Kind of, yes. Both are based on my life, more than each other really, the column is my day to day life, dealing with work, and guys, and spilling my coffee, just normal every day stuff that most readers can relate to. While the comic strip is more out there, you know that's were those little things that shouldn't be funny can escalate to a place where everything is fixed by a cute little catch phrase and a cup of coffee. “ I laughed more at ease.

“Well that's fantastic, now we have to take a break and we'll be right with Jenny, everybody!” she told the camera as we went to commercial. “You're doing great.” she told me as people with head sets ran around doing Lord knows what.

“Thank you, I'm just trying to breathe right now.” I laughed.

“And we're on in five, four... (the rest is apparently done in hand gestures)” then the head-set-guy pointed at Ellen and we were back!

“We're back here with Jennifer Moreno, better known as Jenny popular columnist and notable artist.” Wow what an intro! “Now, how do you go from this,” she asked holding up a newspaper, “to this?” she asked holding some woman's magazine with the guys on the cover and then pointing to a tabloid picture on the back monitor of the Jonas Brothers and I eating pizza in New York a few days before my birthday.

My initial response was to laugh, “I don't know. That's just the way things work out in my crazy world. I actually hadn't really met the band before that picture was taken.”

“Okay, so you walk into a pizza place, spot them as say 'Hey Jonas Brothers, how's it going?' and sit down, just grab some of their pizza?” she asked laughing.

“Close enough.” I laughed. “I'd met Kevin before, and his brothers were fans of my comic so we decided to get lunch next time they were in the city.”

“Well it seems to have worked, whatever you did, have you seen this?” She asked holding up the magazine, she'd shown me before then opening it to a certain page.

“No I haven't.” Though really they're all the same.

“Well it's new, comes out tomorrow. So you wouldn't have. But there's an interview here with the Jonas Brothers and you seem to be doing pretty well for yourself. When asked about their relationship with you, Joe said you were 'like an older sister', Nick called you 'one of my best friends', and Kevin said 'She's an amazing person, and I'm privileged to be able to have her in my life.' When asked to elaborate, because really that's a vague answer, he said, 'The bond we have transcends everyday friendship to call her a best friend would be an understatement, we almost share a brain.'” she finished giving me a knowing look.

“I love my boys.” I chuckled, trying to play it off. I can't believe he said that! Wait when was this?

“Well I'd hope so. Now would you say that was fairly accurate? How does that work?” she asked a twinkle in her eye.

“Yes, Joe is the younger brother I never had, we have fun and I help him when he needs advice. Nick's so insightful, and way more mature than I am. He also has the best taste in movies, so we get along, and I try and make him act his age.” I laughed.

“What about this guy?” she asked flashing a picture of Kevin and I walking into the restaurant on my birthday.

“That was my birthday dinner!That guy? That guy is the most amazing friend in the world. He and I might as well be one person, from our coffee drinking, to our unhealthy shoe obsession...it's hard to put that relationship into words.” I'm sure I'm grinning like a moron, but it's hard not to when thinking of Kevin, especially knowing he feels the same. Not the crush, but that we're beyond best friends. I just hope this doesn't get me in trouble.

“Well maybe I could help you? Um, boyfriend? Is that a word you might use to describe him?”she asked shrugging trying to stifle a grin.

AH, I'm blushing! I knew this was coming. “You're mean! But we're not dating.” I chuckled.

“But would you like to? I can make a call, get him over here. Although you look pretty cozy in this shot. What's going on here? Just how you get around town?” she laughed. Not able to hold a straight face, as she showed a picture of Kevin running with Nick and Joe in the background, and me slung over his shoulder. Where did she even get that?

I couldn't hold It anymore I cracked up. “Actually, I couldn't get a taxi, so I figured, why not just flag down a Jonas? Saves on gas..”

“And a better view.” she finished for me. “Jenny everybody. Check out her column comes out Wednesdays in the local paper, as well as her comic strip which can be seen in the Sunday edition. You can also check it out on line, if you go to our website we'll have a link there. Thank you again, we should do this more often.” And I'm done!

[bloodtypeespresso]

[Chapter 28]

I can do this. I can go in there and act normal...well like my usual self anyway, and not mess anything up. Okay not mess things up more than they already are...were?

New game plan: concentrate on breathing!

In.

Out.

In.

Oh, for crying out loud this is just Kevin, he's seen me in Grinch pjs! Heck he met me with coffee dripping from my hair!

Squaring my shoulders I marched up to the front door...and proceeded to stumble just as Kevin opened the front door....excellent.

“Whoa, falling for me?” WHAT?!?! Oh, smirking...it's a joke, a Joe type joke, but a joke, nice....I knew that.

“I don't know. Would you catch me?” Moron! Why did I say that?

“Always.” he whispered before enveloping me in a bone crushing hug. “I'm sorry.”

Mmm, he smells nice...I mean, “Me too, hon. Happy birthday.” I added kissing his cheek. Oh, Lord I'm going to need help making it through today! Why does he get hotter every time I see him?!

“What do you say we make the most of this party, and then maybe have some coffee and talk?” he asked uncertainly.

“Sounds like a plan.” I grinned letting him usher me into the house where the party was already in full swing.

[bloodtypeespresso]

[Chapter 29]

The party was amazing, just like old times if not better. But now all the other guests have gone, the boys are asleep, and I’m sitting on the floor leaning against Kevin’s bed, with my back to the door, waiting for him to return with the coffee he promised.

Here I am, sitting in front of his window which opens up to an extraordinary view….and all I can think about is how we’re really going to fix this? Do we go on being friends, never mentioning a chemistry I think has the potential to be more than just platonic? Always wondering what if? Or do we risk it with the likelihood of breaking up soon….or at least eventually? Oh, my gosh! Listen to me! What I should be worrying about is my gift which I have yet to give him, not pretending he’d ever agree to a relationship with me!

“Scored us some candy corn.” I heard from my right, as Kevin handed me a large coffee mug having already set the coffee pot on the floor in front of us along with a bag of white, yellow and orange candy.

“Cool, thank you. I didn’t hear you come in.” I smiled coming out of my daze.

“Yeah, I noticed. Where were you?” he asked concerned.

“Thinking about your present.” I smirked reaching into my purse and handing him a small box.

“I thought you coming here, was my gift?” he asked perplexed, while still eyeing the box.

“Nope, you get older you get a gift. It’s the rule!” I grinned.

I broke Kevin Jonas…I’m going down in history as the girl who forced nine year old Frankie to learn the guitar, in order to replace his oldest brother whom has now become a statue! He’s just sitting there, staring at it! He hasn’t even pulled it out of the box, he opened it, his eyes bugged out, and here we are. Maybe I should wake Frankie, he’ll need the extra practice time.

“Are you proposing?” WHAT!?!?! Ouch, that candy corn went the wrong way.

“No, I just…I know you always wear a ring on the same finger, but I noticed it’s not always the same ring. And, yeah I know it’s a little weird, but the center band in this is made out of espresso wood…” I started a million miles a minute, trust me, all that caffeine plus panic equal no breathing between words, which might be why he cut me off.

“You got me a coffee ring?” he asked…grinning?

“Well, yeah.” I shrugged.

“I love it!” Oh, thank goodness!

Okay, now the silence is officially getting awkward. No really, my ears hurt from how loud this silence is actually getting! On the up side, it’s officially not Kevin’s birthday anymore so the conversation we’ll eventually have can no longer ruin it! Just as I was about to start pulling my own hair out (or throwing candy at the side of Kevin’s head), his voice broke the silence.

“What happened to us?” he asked still looking down, and running a hand through his unruly hair, making me seriously contemplate what shampoo he’s been using. On the one hand, he has amazing hair; on the other is this finger running thing a nervous habit or an allergic reaction? Inquiring minds need to know!

“We had an argument.” Thank you captain obvious! Judging by Kevin’s sigh he agrees.

“But we never argued before.” He practically whined looking at me with those impossible hazel eyes, earning him a slight eyebrow raise. “Not about anything important.” He amended tossing a candy corn into my coffee cup.

“I know hon, but maybe we were long overdue?” sigh, “either way, I was out of line, I have no say in your love life.” I managed to say finally taking a sip of my candy corn coffee, more as a means of distraction than a caffeine/ sugar fix.

“Maybe we were over due, but Jen…I’ve been taking your advice on my love life since day one, warranted or not, you’ve yet to steer me wrong.” His turn to sigh, “I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I’m so sorry, I was just hurt and…”

“right.” I cut him off gripping that poor coffee cup for dear life.

“What?” I can feel his gaze on me. I can do this, just open your eyes and look into his.

“I was…am scared. And realistically…I could end up alone for the rest of my life.” Or open your eyes and stare at the coffee cup…that works too. “I’d never want you to end up like me Kev, you’re better than this.” I finished finally looking him in the eye. “So, mostly…you were right.” Okay, I’m not sure if he looks hurt or mad as he lets out a strangled sigh. What’d I do now? I just agreed with him….sort of.

“Don’t say that.” He practically growled shifting his position, so the candy corn was now on his right, while my right hand sits a mere centimeter from his left thigh, where my eyes are now fixed. “You’re allowed to be scared,” he starts, tilting his head so he can catch my eye “but no matter what jerks come along, you’re stuck with me…or at least my family.” He smirks, nudging my shoulder.

The silence after that was slightly less awkward, each of us lost in thought. Well trying desperately not to think in my case, as I like the idea of things going back to normal if it means I can avoid any particularly uncomfortable issues. As luck would have it though, wonder boy over here’s been thinking more than enough for the both of us.

“I could never hurt you.” He stated with a defeated look upon his face, breaking my heart.

“I know.” I whispered my heart, broken or not, pounding.

“Do you?” he asked before looking down and fiddling with his ring. “I saw the look you gave me that night. It took me a while to decipher I’ll give you that, but once I did…” he paused exhaling, “Jen, you were terrified…of me.” And that right there, the pain, frustration, and confusion in his voice, his whole demeanor is what makes me rethink any possible romantic involvement with him. He deserves so much better, not to feel so miserable over a damaged girl.

“Yes. Yes, I know you’d never even think of hurting me. I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t fix things, but I’m so, so sorry. Yes I was scared….okay more than simply scared. But it was only a fraction of a second and not of you…and, and…”Breathe. I have to get through this sentence, with dry eyes…and no paper bags!

I felt Kevin’s arms wrap around me, causing my body to instinctively tense up. Closing my eyes, I slowly returned the embrace allowing myself to relax, grateful for his patience.

“It’s okay.” He whispered into my hair.

“No, it’s not. Look at me, still shuddering at human contact when I’m upset. And that night…for a second, when we were in the thick of it…I was terrified; scared, because of something that happened over a year ago.” I said just as quietly, resting my head on his chest trying to hide the tear rolling down my cheek. “Even if I want to move on, I’m not sure I’d want to subject any decent guy to all this.” I tried to laugh.

“I think It’s up to the guy to decide if you’re too much for him.” He chuckled kissing my temple, and sending shivers down my spine.

[bloodtypeespresso]

Kevin's ring in ch 29.

the wood should be a bit darker though.

[bloodtypeespresso]

[Chapter 30]

Mmh! I’m awake…no I’m not.

This pillow smells nice.

Uh, I don't want to open my eyes...I know something woke me up, but what?

Fuzzy morning brain sucks.

“Ah!” I gasped opening my eyes suddenly very aware of someone staring at me, only to find Kevin sitting on his bed looking perfect as usual while...I'm sure I look stunning (note the sarcasm) in yesterday's outfit.



“Sorry, I tried shaking you, but I got swatted with a pillow. Then I remembered you said staring freaked you out, so I tried it.” he chuckled sheepishly.



“Sorry,” I suck at mornings, “What time is it? And why am I in your bed?” I asked stretching and trying to remember falling asleep. Where’s my candy corn? I remember that.



“You've got nothing on Joe” he laughed “It's really, really, stupidly early in the morning, don't glare, and you fell asleep on my shoulder while we were sitting on the floor, so I figured the bed would be more comfortable.” he shrugged.



“So…you carried me? Kev, you’ll hurt yourself one of these days lugging me around like one of your guitars.” I reprimanded halfheartedly, earning me an eye roll. “So, okay I’m better than Joe…but why am I awake at such an offensive hour?” I asked rubbing what I’m sure are makeup smears under my eyes….I’ve given up on my hair I know it’s all over the place.

“Well you see I work…”

“I worked yesterday!” I pouted.

“Mm hm, anyway we had an early phone interview, but now everyone went back to sleep, and I thought we…you and I that is, could go check out some of the cool local shops, maybe find some good coffee first?” Okay first order of business, find some way to ignore those eyes. They are really, really becoming an issue!

“So you're saying you want me to crawl out of this comfy bed, sneak out of your house, in yesterday's clothes, then you'll buy me coffee and we go out and pose for the paps?” I clarified snuggling into the warm yumminess that is Kevin Jonas’ bed.

“Yes, kind of. I'll lend you clothes, the biggest good coffee we can find, and I was thinking we pose but act like it's candid, that way people think we always look this amazing.” he nodded standing.

“Yeah, news flash genius, I do always look this amazing.” I mumbled gesturing to my current state of disheveledness…is that a word?

“Yeah, I know, but we might not want to let them see you with all that sexy bed hair.” He winked then disappeared into his humongous closet leaving me a little shell-shocked...did he just FLIRT….with me?

God? If you get me a kiss I can die happy! Okay, Jenny ADULT brain!

And with that, I made my way into Kev’s bathroom to try and tame my tresses.

As promised, our first stop was a secluded LA coffee shop. Decked out in Kev's Police T-shirt (skillfully pined to cinch in the waist) and a pencil skirt I left behind when I pilfered his pj pants, I settled into a plush arm chair, pulling out my ever present sketchbook and a ballpoint “doodling” pen.

“The mighty Bic I see!” Kevin exclaimed, placing a massive cup of heaven in front of me, before taking his seat with an identical cup in his hand.

“Don't mock the Bic! These things last forever!” I scolded taking a sip. Oh my gosh!!!! This is incredible!

“Iced toasted marshmallow latte.” he chuckled no doubt, noting my expression.

“Usually I'd go for vanilla, but this.” he motioned to the cup in his hand, “and the fact that the paps hate the third floor, is the reason I come here.”

“It's so...mmmh!” I finished unable to find a word for the yummy feeling this place gives me. It's so cozy and peaceful even though there's jazz blasting, and deep reds and yellows, contrasting with olives and midnight blues coating the walls and ceiling.

“I knew I could count on you,” he laughed before pulling out a notebook and a trusty Bic pen.

“We've been here forever!” Kevin pouted leaning against the very bookshelf I was tiptoeing trying to get a book out of.

“Not forever, just super long, and I'm almost done I just...” before I could finish my sentence, I felt somebody behind me, reach out and pull out my book. Turning around I found myself looking up at a tall blond guy holding out said book. “Um, thank you.”

“Any time, but maybe you could make it up to me? Say lunch? I know a great place...” before he could even finish his sentence, as always, Kevin stepped in.

“We actually have plans today, but thanks for the offer.” he stated with an obviously forced smile.

“Oh, um right.” Blond guy sputtered feebly backing away.

“Thanks again.” I shrugged walking around him, and making my way to the cash register, overly aware of Kevin's hand finding its way into mine. Although realistically, we are the hand holding I love you saying kind of friends.

“Seriously though, what was up with that guy?” Kevin ranted as we browsed through vintage band t-shirts.

“He was just handing me a book...an hour ago.” I chuckled.

“Yeah, but he was all over you and leany when he did it. I mean, okay he was interested, but you were with another guy! Who does that?” He asked picking up a Santana t shirt.

"Leany?” I smirked with my best Jonas-brow, I’ve subjected this guy to one too many chick flicks no more ‘While You Were Sleeping’ for him! “I wouldn't have said yes, and even though I was with you, I'm not with you, you know?” I sighed amused.

“Well...yeah. But he doesn't know that!” that's it, that's when I officially lost it and just burst out laughing…Kevin’s retaliatory pout just made me laugh harder.

---

Kind of pointless, but I wanted to get back to the banter, and hopefully move them from friends to friendlier soon! ;P